Roy quotes from Fullmetal Alchemist

Roy

What is this, a children's slumber party? You superstitious nitwits need someone to teach you some sense and it might as well be me!

Roy

Well. I can't exactly say I was expecting that... WHO THE HELL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS FIASCO?!

Roy

I once executed two people, two doctors. "There are no sides, just patients." That's what they said as they treated our fallen enemies in Ishbal. But the people they were healing would just rise up again to fight us. The military asked them to stop, but they wouldn't. And their makeshift hospital was becoming a den for insurgents. I got my orders in the morning, and I shot them that night. After that I tried to kill myself, but I was too much of a coward. So I took an oath instead: to never follow unreasonable commands again, to reach a position where I wouldn't have to follow them, and I stayed true to that. I'm not chasing you because I was commanded to. I'm doing it because I'm pissed. Now why the hell did you two run away without asking for my help first?!

Pinako

I have no time to entertain dogs, can't you see these boys are hurt?!

Roy

Relax ma'am, I'm just checking the mail. [holds up letter]

One of our letters! So you know where our dad is?

Roy

I only wish kid, we've been looking for Hohenheim for a long time and we're still only kicking up dirt.

Pinako

Then why did you come? You ceratinly aren't going to find their father here!

Roy

Call it nostalgia or misplaced curiousity, either way I'm glad I came. If these boys can attempt a human transmutation and actually survive, then frankly, their dad just dropped a rung on my priority list.

Roy

Don’t take any lives. That’s all I asked you, Bald… And as it turns out, you did exactly as you were told.

So I take it you’re Mustang. HAAAAA!

Roy

I controlled myself. The damage to your skin isn’t nearly as bad as it feels. You can call me Roy Mustang, or just Lieutenant Colonel. Hell, you can call me the Flame Alchemist. Whatever you do, remember the pain.

Edward

So he’s Mustang…

Alphonse

Brother…!

Edward

Hey! You knew! That’s why you made us take this train! You put us at risk on purpose!

Roy

Come on, you think I have the whole world on strings? But… the General heard about your exploits, saving the train; he’s letting you take the State Alchemy exam.

Edward

But you always said we could take it! That’s the reason we came!

Roy

Come on, Ed, the State’s never let a kid take a military exam before. But, I guess lucks on your side, good thing you took that earlier train, huh? Whether you decide to take the test is still up to you, I’m not trying to run your life.

Edward

Of course I’ll take it! And pass! I would have done it anyway!

Alphonse

Those people had us playing right at the palms of their hands, didn’t they? I guess it doesn’t matter what we do. We’ll never be the ones in control.

Roy

So, boys, you’re really convinced you’re ready for this?

Edward

That’s right; just tell me what to wear to graduation…

Roy

Careful, Ed. I’d hate for you to get cocky, as you know, you find your own training, and I suggest him.

Edward

Sowinglife alchemist, huh?

Roy

Shou Tucker, practically wrote the book on bringing things to life…

Alphonse

[Voice over] That’s how it started; we spent the months, before the exam, living at the Tucker Estate.

Winry

AHHH! Come on hurry up! EEEPP! (Rushes in store) I’ll take the chrome steel spanner set. (Grabs a wrench) This hydraulic cork wrench! (Points at glass) And can I take a look at that micrometer please!?

Sure!

Winry

Oh! And please throw in whichever ultra hard tipped drill that you think is the best!

You got it!

Winry

It’s everything I dreamed it would be! Central sure puts our small town selection to shame! Oh! And I just can’t get over how good this walnut handle on this screwdriver feels on my skin!

Alphonse

Are you almost done in there, Winry?

Winry

Huh?

Alphonse

Don’t you think you have enough souvenirs for one trip?

Winry

WHAT?! But you said you’d buy me anything I wanted today! Isn’t that right, Ed?

Edward

Yeah…

Winry

Ed, I love these high carbon chrome steel cutting sheers, they’ll cut through anything and never rust! Can I have these too?

Edward

Sure…

Winry

(To clerk) Sir? Could you add this sowing machine oil to my tab?

Of course!

Winry

Here… (To Ed) This is for you… Without me around you’ll have to take care of your own auto-mail.

Mr. Elric. Mustang wants to see you.

Edward

There’s a mission for me?

Roy

Yeah, now that you’re a real state alchemist you have to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice. It’s our life… Second lieutenant, Hawkeye?

Yes, sir. (Walks to Ed and hands him some papers) Here are your orders and case file.

Edward

(reads aloud) Fullmetal alchemist, Edward Elric, you are hereby ordered to inspect the coal mine at Yusewell… (Turns to Roy) Is this kind of thing really a job for a state alchemist?

It entails inspecting the mine resources, as an alchemist you do have knowledge of minerals, don’t you?

Edward

Uh…

Roy

Seeing as it’s your first mission I’ve decided to keep the training wheels on, but that won’t mean that you can take it easy…

About Liore, that desert town in Ed’s report, are you aware that General Hukuro’s detachment has been dispatched over there?

Roy

Uh!

I hear it’s turning into a pretty ugly civil war… Ed said their prophet, Cornello, had been removed as a sham, and the people would open their eyes, but a priest is still there and going strong. Do you think you should send Ed over to investigate?

Roy

Ed believes he saved that town… It’s one of the first successes he had… I’ll let him keep thinking that for awhile. He’ll learn the truth soon enough… We always do…

Roy

So, isn’t it about time you told me? I know you didn’t all come here to observe us.

The bigwigs. They kept wearing the Führer down until he agreed to move us. It’s the Alchemist Killer, Roy. There have already been five officer slayings in Central.

You got a death wish or something Colonel?

Roy

Thats a stupid question Havoc. And when I'm Führer, there will be changes. That day, all female officers will be required to wear... Tiny Miniskirts!

(Grasping Roy's leg with a nosebleed) I'll follow you for the rest of my life colonel!

Roy

Yes!

Roy

Dog, huh? ... I LOVE DOGS!

Really? You mean it?

Roy

Of course! Dogs embody loyalty, they follow their masters' commands above all else. Be a jerk to them and they don't complain and they never once beg for a paycheck. Trust me Fuery, they're the great servants of man! Loyal canine how we salute thee!

Roy

That's far enough!

Colonel Mustang, wait!

Scar

Colonel Mustang? Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang?

Roy

The one and only.

But Sir!

Roy

I'm awfully sorry about your grievances, but no one hurts my men.

Scar

Yet another soul who departs from God's path. Death will be swift.

Roy

Brave enough to attack the Flame Alchemist. I'll make you a funeral pyre.

Colonel! Oh! Stubborn man! [trips him] Fire!

Roy

That's no way to get promoted, Hawkeye!

Relax, sir, I just saved your life. Your flame attack's no good in the rain.

She’s right, colonel: Wet gloves won’t make a spark.

I have orders to take Marcoh into Fuhrer Bradley's custody. He assures you that the doctor will not come to harm.

Roy

But...Yes, of course.

Edward

Marcoh, don't!

It's like I told you, Ed, I can't go with you. Your hometown is not a place where I could ever be welcome.

Edward

Why not?

The two doctors that we executed in Ishbal... their names were Rockbell.

The classic: ‘Sewer Escape’…

Roy

Don’t follow him…!

Damn it, I was about to jump in!

(Walks up to Roy and Havoc) Nice mess! Is it over yet?

Roy

You know you could help while you’re here, Hughes.

Lay off, I’m as normal as they come and this is a contest of freaks. What do you want me to do, fire my slingshot at him?

Uh!

Roy

Lieutenant Hawkeye, take crowd control, I don’t want anyone getting close.

Yes, Sir.

Roy

Leaving so soon, sir?

Bradley

Funny how things work, now that Scar has shown up here in the East the bureaucrats are very concerned about their duties back in Central. I'm sorry to've inconvenienced you Colonel.

Roy

Can you chose my punishment first?

Bradley

Punishment?

Roy

I've known where the Crystal Alchemis's been hiding for some time now. I've never informed the state.

Bradley

That's a job well done, Colonel.

Roy

Sir?