Furey quotes from Fullmetal Alchemist

The classic: ‘Sewer Escape’…

Roy

Don’t follow him…!

Damn it, I was about to jump in!

(Walks up to Roy and Havoc) Nice mess! Is it over yet?

Roy

You know you could help while you’re here, Hughes.

Lay off, I’m as normal as they come and this is a contest of freaks. What do you want me to do, fire my slingshot at him?

Uh!

Roy

Lieutenant Hawkeye, take crowd control, I don’t want anyone getting close.

Yes, Sir.

Roy

You see? I came out fine as ever.

(Sighs) You know, maybe it’d do you some good to get your hand slapped every once in a while.

Roy

Don’t blame me, that guy’s a wall… I can’t figure him out… (Al’s scream is heard; Roy and Hawkeye look towards the break room)

Creation follows destruction! I’ll fix him up nice and pretty!

Alphonse

Uh! That’s OK!

Roy

Bonding a soul to steel is no walk in the park, Fullmetal’s the only one that can fix Al now, go ahead ask him.

Edward

That’s right, it’s my burden… But before I do anything I have to get my other arm back…

Well, that is an interesting fix, isn’t it? I mean, if the great Edward can’t use his alchemy…

He’s just a useless teen with a grumpy-ass-attitude.

Edward

Anyway… I’ll have to take some leave now… I'm going back to my mechanic. You know the one, don’t you?

Roy

Sure, Ed, how can I forget? I saw you at her house, unconscious, with that same stump of an arm you have now, bawling in your sleep, "It hurts! I'm going to pee my pants!" So tough.

So where you going to go once you’re fixed?

Edward

Central… I’ve got something to look up in the library there…

That’s a heck of a trip you’ll need some protection. I would volunteer but… Well, since the Führer going straight to Central and I’m part of his escort, I can’t go.

Roy

They just put me back in charge here; I’ve got to look after this place.

And I’ve got to look after the Colonel.

You could send me, but I don’t know how much help I’d be up against a fanatical alchemist serial killer.

(Ad-lib they agree with Havoc)

That settles it, send me! I’ll protect the boys on their journey for repairs and investigation!

Edward

We don’t need an escort!

Really, Ed, what do you plan to do if Scar shows up while you’re missing that arm?

Can’t fight; can’t exactly carry your hobbled brother to safety either.

Alphonse

(Nervous laugh)

Children should listen to adults!

Edward

Ah! You can’t call us children! Al, why don’t you stick up for us here!?!

Alphonse

That is the first time I've been treated like a kid since I became a suit of armor!! Thank you!

The train leaves soon Edward Elric… We’d better go pack our bags.

Alphonse

Uh… This is the first time I've been treated like luggage!

Edward

(Cramped by Armstrong) Spacious…

(Knocks and salutes Edward)

Newspaper? I’ve got tea, too!

(Motions for the kid to leave him alone) Hey, I've got a message from Roy.

Edward

You mean the Colonel?

He said, "Don't die under my command; you're enough of a pain without the paperwork." And that was it.

Edward

Tell him, "Fine, there's no way I'm dying before you do, you morally bankrupt Colonel with a God complex."… And tell him to take this gorilla escort here off my hands too.

Alright, easy. (Edward looks away) Look, Ed. I don’t know what Marcoh said to upset you, but I found some info you might find helpful. About three years ago we found the remains of a girl, who’d been turned into a chimera, I’m sure you remember.

Edward

Nina!

The way she was torn apart… Turns out it’s identical to the way Scar’s been killing people.

Edward

(Gasps) Thanks, Hughes. That does help; now I can take him on.

It' so big… Alright, I'm going home…

Are you out of your frickin' mind?! You've hit the mother load with this one, Havoc! You just have to convince her to marry you and you're set for life!

You'll fly up the ranks in no time!

Marry her? But I don't even know her yet…

Well according to Major Armstrong, she's every bit as beautiful as the Major himself.

You mean she looks just like the Major? (Imagines Armstrong in a blonde wig and sundress) GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF ME GUYS, I'M GOING HOME!

AH! WELCOME TO OUR HOME LIEUTENANT HAVOC!

Bye! Don't blow it! (speedily drives off)

For the past 180 some odd years, the house of Armstrong as played a vital role in the nations finance and political military circles. Generation after generation, we've supplied the country with countless Generals, why! I, myself was a general back in the day when that meant something! Of course, we didn't have motorcars….

Oh! Father's stories always touch me in a profound way!

Uhhh…

Oh my! Tell me he's not boring our poor guest with old war stories!

Oh! Hello mother!

Mother? That's a relief… The mother looks pretty normal… SHE'S A FREAKING GIANT!! THAT'S NOT NORMAL! THAT'S NOT NORMAL AT ALL!!! Think about it rationally. Havoc. If the father is large horizontally, and the mother's large vertically, then it only makes sense, for the son to look something like… This… So the daughter must look something like...! No, that's not how it works. Some traits are more dominant, so there is the possibility when you cross A with B, it could resemble A more.

Here she comes, lieutenant! My baby sister!

Come now, Catherine, don't be bashful. You know it’s not an attractive quality.

Moment of truth! Does she look like her dad, or her mom? Either way she's a monster, but if she's got to be a potato or a tomato, then please let her be a tomato!