Hughes quotes from Fullmetal Alchemist

Just look on the bright side Bald, you probably needed a shower.

About Liore, that desert town in Ed’s report, are you aware that General Hukuro’s detachment has been dispatched over there?

Roy

Uh!

I hear it’s turning into a pretty ugly civil war… Ed said their prophet, Cornello, had been removed as a sham, and the people would open their eyes, but a priest is still there and going strong. Do you think you should send Ed over to investigate?

Roy

Ed believes he saved that town… It’s one of the first successes he had… I’ll let him keep thinking that for awhile. He’ll learn the truth soon enough… We always do…

Roy

So, isn’t it about time you told me? I know you didn’t all come here to observe us.

The bigwigs. They kept wearing the Führer down until he agreed to move us. It’s the Alchemist Killer, Roy. There have already been five officer slayings in Central.

The classic: ‘Sewer Escape’…

Roy

Don’t follow him…!

Damn it, I was about to jump in!

(Walks up to Roy and Havoc) Nice mess! Is it over yet?

Roy

You know you could help while you’re here, Hughes.

Lay off, I’m as normal as they come and this is a contest of freaks. What do you want me to do, fire my slingshot at him?

Uh!

Roy

Lieutenant Hawkeye, take crowd control, I don’t want anyone getting close.

Yes, Sir.

Roy

You see? I came out fine as ever.

(Sighs) You know, maybe it’d do you some good to get your hand slapped every once in a while.

Roy

Don’t blame me, that guy’s a wall… I can’t figure him out… (Al’s scream is heard; Roy and Hawkeye look towards the break room)

Creation follows destruction! I’ll fix him up nice and pretty!

Alphonse

Uh! That’s OK!

Roy

Bonding a soul to steel is no walk in the park, Fullmetal’s the only one that can fix Al now, go ahead ask him.

Edward

That’s right, it’s my burden… But before I do anything I have to get my other arm back…

Well, that is an interesting fix, isn’t it? I mean, if the great Edward can’t use his alchemy…

He’s just a useless teen with a grumpy-ass-attitude.

Edward

Anyway… I’ll have to take some leave now… I'm going back to my mechanic. You know the one, don’t you?

Roy

Sure, Ed, how can I forget? I saw you at her house, unconscious, with that same stump of an arm you have now, bawling in your sleep, "It hurts! I'm going to pee my pants!" So tough.

So where you going to go once you’re fixed?

Edward

Central… I’ve got something to look up in the library there…

That’s a heck of a trip you’ll need some protection. I would volunteer but… Well, since the Führer going straight to Central and I’m part of his escort, I can’t go.

Roy

They just put me back in charge here; I’ve got to look after this place.

And I’ve got to look after the Colonel.

You could send me, but I don’t know how much help I’d be up against a fanatical alchemist serial killer.

(Ad-lib they agree with Havoc)

That settles it, send me! I’ll protect the boys on their journey for repairs and investigation!

Edward

We don’t need an escort!

Really, Ed, what do you plan to do if Scar shows up while you’re missing that arm?

Can’t fight; can’t exactly carry your hobbled brother to safety either.

Alphonse

(Nervous laugh)

Children should listen to adults!

Edward

Ah! You can’t call us children! Al, why don’t you stick up for us here!?!

Alphonse

That is the first time I've been treated like a kid since I became a suit of armor!! Thank you!

The train leaves soon Edward Elric… We’d better go pack our bags.

Alphonse

Uh… This is the first time I've been treated like luggage!

Edward

(Cramped by Armstrong) Spacious…

(Knocks and salutes Edward)

Newspaper? I’ve got tea, too!

(Motions for the kid to leave him alone) Hey, I've got a message from Roy.

Edward

You mean the Colonel?

He said, "Don't die under my command; you're enough of a pain without the paperwork." And that was it.

Edward

Tell him, "Fine, there's no way I'm dying before you do, you morally bankrupt Colonel with a God complex."… And tell him to take this gorilla escort here off my hands too.

Alright, easy. (Edward looks away) Look, Ed. I don’t know what Marcoh said to upset you, but I found some info you might find helpful. About three years ago we found the remains of a girl, who’d been turned into a chimera, I’m sure you remember.

Edward

Nina!

The way she was torn apart… Turns out it’s identical to the way Scar’s been killing people.

Edward

(Gasps) Thanks, Hughes. That does help; now I can take him on.

Be careful, Roy. You've got some enemies here, and in very high places. My advice to you is to make as many friends as you can around here, friends who will support you when the time comes. Which is why I make this crucial suggestion: You find yourself a wife!

Roy

Give it a rest!

Please, Colonel, don't take it out on the phone.

Edward

So these are Marcoh’s notes. On the surface they appear to be an ordinary cookbook...

Alphonse

You really think the secret to the stone is in here?

Edward

It does make sense. Marcoh didn’t want just anyone to read it so he wrote it in code. And as for the cookbook disguise, you know what they say, “Alchemy was born in the kitchen.” So now all we have to do is crack this secret language of his. No sweat.

Alphonse

Mm…

Edward

Damn, so much for that whole ‘No sweat’ business. Get markers, make a few columns, I thought it’d be easy!

Alphonse

It’d be a whole lot faster if we could just ask Marcoh.

Edward

We’re trying to keep the military out of the loop here, Al, and Marcoh’s in the Führer's custody now...

Wakey, wakey! So how you doing there, boys?

Edward

Lieutenant Colonel! What’s the matter, been to busy to come say ‘hello’?

It’s these damn ‘Scar spottings’ lately. It’s got us chasing our own tails. So, Al did you get the ‘full-body repair’ you needed?

Alphonse

Yes, sir. Good as new.

They sure are chummy with the Lieutenant Colonel, don’t you think?

Lieutenant Colonel Hughes. If there were to be an attack here, we can not insure the safety of these two as we’ve been ordered. They should return to the command center now.

Edward

I told you Ross, don’t get in my way!

Lieutenant Colonel as long as Scar remains at large, security of State Alchemists must be a top priority,

Sorry, Ed, but I’m afraid Lieutenant Ross does have a point.

Edward

Don’t say that...

But then again, this really isn’t my jurisdiction, why don’t you take it up with Major Armstrong?

(Ad-lib they don’t want to)

(Regains composure)

Edward

Lieutenant Colonel, we’re close to it now, I can feel it! I’m begging!

Hmmm... What I’d like to do is give you extra protection, Ed, but between hunting down Scar and scrambling to replace the case files that were destroyed in the fire, my men are all completely tied up right now.

Edward

All your case files? You mean they were stored in the First Branch, too?

Yeah, affidavits, suspect list, crime scene logs, all of it.

Edward

You’re in luck...!

Winry

Edward! You didn’t tell me you were in the hospital for this!

Edward

Yeah, well, one thing, lead to another… He-he…

Winry

This is nothing to laugh about!

Edward

What’s wrong?

Winry

I didn’t do the maintenance on your auto-mail the way I should have, and now… This is my fault…

Edward

No don’t say that! There are a lot of other things to blame! Right Al?

Alphonse

Right…

Edward

There, you see? And Al doesn’t lie!

Winry

Yeah, but…

Edward

Your maintenance was perfect, it always has been! It’s complicated machinery, and I’m slinging it all around! It was bound to jam up some time! I mean honestly, the timing was pretty good, if it’d stopped earlier, I’d be a lot worse off! It broke because I was rough with it, don’t worry!

Winry

(Thinks) Could he actually not have noticed I forgot to use that screw? (Talking) YOU’RE RIGHT, ED! YOU’RE TOO ROUGH! A RECKLESS KLUTZ, REALLY! AHAHAHAHA!

Edward

Hey…

Lieutenant Colonel, sorry to interrupt, but there’s a call from Colonel Mustang.

Yo, Roy! Good timing, I’ve got great news!

Roy

What?! Your soldiers have found Scar?!

No, you obsessed idiot! How would that be great news? Did you honestly forget? Tomorrow’s Alicia’s birthday! We’re throwing her a party and everything!

Roy

Unless you want to become charcoal, Maes, you’d better tell me the news from Central!

Don’t worry, if anything important happens, I’ll let you know, but in the meantime, make sure you send my daughter a present! Bye now!

Roy

Uh! Rrrrggggg!

But, sir, are you sure it’s okay not to tell him anything, about the boys?

Yeah, I’m sure, right now it’s better if he doesn’t know anything…

Right…

But enough about that, you got those reports?

YEAH! Working non-stop without sleep, I’ve managed to finish them all!

(Takes a sip of his drink) Great, here’s a list of what’s next, doll.

(Faints)

Winry

How you doing’? Huh? Well, Ed it looks like you’re done with your dinner…

Edward

Uhuh…

Winry

Don’t be a baby. It won’t hurt much. Huh? (’moo’ is heard) You didn't drink your milk. (Ed twitches) Edward...

Edward

(grumbling) You drink it. I hate milk. It's like drinking vomit.

Winry

(shoving it in his face) WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! MILK'S GOOD FOR YOU! DRINK IT!

Edward

(shoving it away) FORGET IT! I HATE WHAT I HATE! IT'S NOT LIKE I'LL DIE BECAUSE I DON'T DRINK THAT CRAP!

Winry

JEEZ! AND THIS IS THE REASON YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE SIZE OF A BEAN!

Edward

A BEAN?!

Winry

Yeah, a bean. Right, Al?

Alphonse

Just do what she says, Ed. Drink the dumb milk.

Edward

Yeah, sure, easy for you to say, Al, you're lucky. You didn't have to drink anything to get that big!

Alphonse

Shut up. It wasn't my choice to be this way!

Edward

You’re right, Al… I’m sorry…

Winry

Hey, what’s the matter are you two fighting?

Got my girlfriend to bake you an apple pie! You want it? Roy…

Roy

It’s called a "Taboo", forbidden alchemy, it’s kind of fun.

I don’t understand much about alchemy! But I’m no fool, and I certainly know what happens to anyone who commits a taboo!

Roy

You can relax, Maes, I haven’t done anything.

Maybe not yet, but you were planning to.

Roy

You just don’t understand. I killed a lot of people out there.

It was a war.

Roy

Easy for you to say you weren’t there.

No, I wasn’t. And if you didn’t want to kill enemies in battle, you shouldn’t have been there either; you should have asked for a desk job, like I did. Did you think if you became a State Alchemist you could fix everything? Bring back anyone who ever died in a controversial war? Invent some Utopian world?

Roy

Heh, I don’t know.

Is a taboo so easy to commit you just need a little binge of studying to pull it off? Or do you just want to wait and die? Because if that’s the case, there are plenty of easier means.

Roy

I had it at my mouth, Maes, and I couldn’t pull the trigger, I was too afraid to end it.

I’d hope so.

Roy

That’s just the kind of cowardly human that I am.

Every sane person is.

Roy

Even my life, detestable as it is will have some use… Maes, I have a plan.

Let’s hear it, Roy.

Roy

I’m going to become the Führer, Maes. It’s the only way I can justify taking my next breath.

Well to do that you’ll have to have someone who knows you and the system, and can support you from the inside. I work under you, stay close to the higher ups, and help push you to the top.

Edward

Well how 'bout this? Confess your love to her, instead of bothering us! Save you some time!

Ah!

Edward

Trust me! She'll be good for ya!

Have you ever heard of respecting your elders, Ed?!

Edward

Oh, that reminds me. Colonel, what do you think of this ring?

Roy

...What's this?

Edward

I just told you, it's a ring!

Roy

I'm sorry, but I cannot accept a gift like this from another man.

Edward

It's not a gift, you moron!

Oh? So you're giving it to a girl? Haha, you're blossoming early, shrimp!

Edward

That ain't it either, and don't call me a shrimp!

Roy

It looks like a normal old ring to me. Is there something special about it?

Edward

Well, you see... No, it's nothing. Just forget it

Hmm... Something's fishy here, and it ain't cod. Wait a minute! You're not planning on wooing my daughter at an early age, are you!?

Edward

Excuse me?

...Roy, let's grill this shrimp up. I'll get the skewers...

Roy

...And I'll provide the flames.

Alphonse

Ed, how could you? Trying to win her favor at the age of two! You start early, don't you?

Edward

SHADDUP!!!