You've always been an intense vomiter. Remember that time you ate that entire gingerbread house?
Those gumdrops came out like bullets.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Field trips are just paid vacations for teachers. I don't pay taxes so they can walk around a museum telling our children that a painting of a soup can is beautiful.
[having a coming-of-age talk with Emery] Puberty strikes hard and quick. Like a large soda halfway through 'Schindler's List'.
[while enjoying her first day back in Taiwan, Jessica briefly loses Evan in a crowd, then finds him easily] Y'know what? It would be OK if you were lost here, Evan. There are no pedophiles in Taiwan. People are too busy getting things done to have time for any hobbies.
So, you want to be what everyone thought I was when I walked in on the first day? You want to undo all the work I've done over the past two years?
EEmery
You mean all the work you've done so you could just be lazy.
They're ignorant about who we are and where we come from. Why shouldn't we take advantage of that? They see me coming down the hall, they're nervous. I'm keeping them on their toes, blazing trails, breaking chains. Then they see you coming in with your violin and your camera, and we're back to where we started!
BBrian
[the Crew are making plans for Halloween] I say we hit the sorority houses at East Orlando State. We ask for candy, then... you know.
WWalter
What happens then?
BBrian
I don't know. Something good. I saw half of Porky's last night when Cinemax accidentally descrambled.
TTrent
[annoyed] Wow, appreciate the phone call.
Guys, focus. It's Hallowe'en. I'm gonna get girls for the rest of my life. I'm only gonna get free candy for another couple years.
He could have come home addicted to drugs - or pregnant!
The Pillsbury Doughboy? No fat ghost sailor's going to tell me what biscuits to eat! [throws nuts on TV] Nuh! [Starts banging on table] Garfield, Garfield, Garfield, Garfield!
AEAAA Employee
Thank you, sir, for your seven years of membership.
EEmery
You've been a member since you were two?
EEvan
I wanted to join earlier, but I didn't know how to make my wishes known to mom.
FYFive-Year-Old Louis
[Onscreen Subtitles] Mom. Where do babies come from?
GFGo Fish Player
She said she had to ditch the buzzkill.
To who? In what language?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Fresh Off the Boat pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.