Eddie Huang quotes from Fresh Off the Boat

Eddie

Delivering fajitas sucks!

Louis

You know what your grandfather's first job was? Selling bread that was so hot that he lost all his fingerprints.

Look into your third eye.

Eddie

My... butthole?

Louis

Alright, boys. I got a surprise for you: new uniforms.

Eddie

Where's the rest of the shorts?

Louis

We don't need all the extra fabric getting in the way of our footwork. Come on out, Dave.

Louis

Look how free his thighs are! [grimaces for a second] And white. Looks like someone bleached a ghost!

Eddie

So, you want to be what everyone thought I was when I walked in on the first day? You want to undo all the work I've done over the past two years?

You mean all the work you've done so you could just be lazy.

Eddie

They're ignorant about who we are and where we come from. Why shouldn't we take advantage of that? They see me coming down the hall, they're nervous. I'm keeping them on their toes, blazing trails, breaking chains. Then they see you coming in with your violin and your camera, and we're back to where we started!

[the Crew are making plans for Halloween] I say we hit the sorority houses at East Orlando State. We ask for candy, then... you know.

What happens then?

I don't know. Something good. I saw half of Porky's last night when Cinemax accidentally descrambled.

[annoyed] Wow, appreciate the phone call.

Eddie

Guys, focus. It's Hallowe'en. I'm gonna get girls for the rest of my life. I'm only gonna get free candy for another couple years.