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Fawlty Towers · Season 1

Ronald and Basil in “Gourmet Night”

[Basil is dealing with young Ronald Heath, a loathsome brat]

RRonald

I don't like the chips...They're the wrong shape, and they're just awful. Haven't you got any properly-shaped chips?

[with characteristically-surreptitious menace] What shape do you usually have? Mickey Mouse shape? Smarties shape? Amphibious landing craft shape? Poke in the eye shape? - God, you're dumb.

RRonald

What a dump...! I'd like some salad cream for this bread.

Well, the mayonnaise is right there.

RRonald

I asked for salad cream, stupid.

We don't have any of what you call salad cream; the chef made that mayonnaise freshly this morning.

RRonald

That's puke, that is.

Well, at least it's fresh puke!

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