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S3

Father Ted · Season 3

Father Ted and Father Dougal in “Are You Right There, Father Ted?”

Dougal, look.

(Dougal gives Ted a lampshade that he is holding. Ted puts it on his head and proceeds to do an offensive impression of a Chinese person)

I am Chinese, if you please!

Come on, Dougal, lighten up! [Chuckles]

(Ted turns around, and sees a family of Chinese people watching through the window. He is horrified, and takes the lampshade off of his head.)

[pointing at the window] Dougal, there were Chinese people there!

All right, yeah.

I mean, what... what...

That's the Yin family. They're living over there in that old Chinatown area.

Chinatown area?! There's a Chinatown on Craggy Island?! Dougal, I wouldn't have done a Chinaman impression if I'd known there was gonna be a Chinaman there to see me doing a Chinaman impression!

Why not, Ted?

Because... Because it's racist! They'll think I'm a racist! I'm gonna have to catch up with them and explain I'm not a racist!

(cut to Ted stood in front of the Yin family's car, with the engine revving)

And basically, if I don't stretch my eyes like that from time to time, I get this thing called "fat eyes." [the car drives around Ted and speeds away] I hope you don't think it was of a racist nature! Thanks now, see you, bye!

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