[to Ed] Well, son, rest assured whatever your status, I shall defend you till your last breath. I mean my last breath. Excuse the obvious death penalty snafu. I'm slightly inebriated.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
HLHank Larrson
My wife passed last summer. We were up in Brainerd, visitin' my sister. Last thing she said to me - "Do you smell toast?"
Different roads, same destination.
HLHank Larrson
I suppose. But the question is - for you, I mean - how far does it go? Husband dead, plus your youngest, grandson in jail, and now Dodd's missin', we hear.
Old-timers had it worse. Used to be 10 born, 2 survived - consumption, scalpings, smallpox, wolves.
HLHank Larrson
Well, it's a question of what you can live with, I suppose - how many ghosts. I-I shot a man through the teeth in Vichy, France. I still see his face every night before bed.
There's a man.
BSBen Schmidt
What - what man?
Just a man. He works in a factory. One day, the boss gets it in his mind that this man is stealing from him. So, every night at the gate, the guards search his wheelbarrow. But they never find anything.
BSBen Schmidt
Pat him down.
Oh, they do that. Strip him naked - nothin'.
BSBen Schmidt
So he's not stealin'.
Of course he is.
Wheelbarrows.
Thank you. That's right. He's stealing wheelbarrows.
BSBen Schmidt
What?
My point is sometimes the answer is so obvious you can't see it because you're looking too hard. See, we can't leave because we're the future, and they're the past. The past can no more become the future than the future can become the past.
HBHamish Broker
Braverman stood for you, said, "He's not like the other darkies. This one's smart, capable." But that is not what I'm seeing.
And I appreciate the opportunity... sir, believin', as I do, like the good Dr. King said, "A man should be judged on the content of his character, not the color of his skin."
HBHamish Broker
Yeah, he's dead. You're gonna need a different quote.
So... is this a conversation about how it's time for me to pack up and go home?
No. Don't have to go home. It's a big country. Just maybe don't be here.
Are you familiar with the phrase "manifest destiny"?
Yeah, but see, here's the thing. I own two pairs of shoes - a summer pair and one for winter. We're not meant to have more than we can handle, is what I mean. So, this need for conquest, you know, tryin' to own things that aren't meant to be owned...
Like people?
That's an example. But also places - believin' we can tame things. That's a problem, right?... Not a solution.
You're saying capitalism is a problem?
No... Greed... Makin' this thing all or nothin'.
Please. Please! It's not... We're family!
None of us are family anymore.
Please! Pl-please, just banish me. Like you said, shave my head. Run me out of - I'll go! I'll go away and never... You don't have to.
Hush now. It's already done.
And here I am, tied up for no reason, a concerned citizen just walking past, and I - and I hear a cry for help.
No, you're a Gerhardt.
And you're shit on my shoe. Why don't you come here and let me wipe you off?
[to Peggy about Dodd] Hon, you got to stop stabbing him.
[Ed Blumquist and Mike Milligan are talking on the phone, after Mike and the surviving Kitchen brother have killed the Undertaker and his henchmen]
Hello?
Mike Milligan?
Yes.
Today's your lucky day, Mike. I've got Dodd Gerhardt in the trunk of my car. You want him?
Sir, if I kiss you when we meet, would that be inappropriate?
What? I don't--um--
Nothin'. Just...well, it's been a day. But the fact is, I do. I do want him. The question is, what do you want?
Well, I got the whole Gerhardt family after me, and I need you to make 'em stop.
[cut to an overhead shot of the hotel room, with blood on the walls and the dead bodies of the Undertaker and his henchmen lying on the floor]
Well, then I think you and I can make a deal.
Yeah, and no funny business, either, ya hear? Because, I've killed people before, and I'm not afraid to do it again. Maybe you heard of me - the Butcher of Luverne.
I have heard of you. And may I say: brother, I like your style.
[to Ed] Son, you got yourself a woman problem. How I know is they've been plaguing me my whole life. What's the joke? Can't live with them, can't turn them into cat food. Personally, I don't see the value in all that talking and the mood swings and the lack of rational thinking, which, brother, your bitch has got that in spades. See, the male of the species has got the potential for greatness. Look at your kings of old. Napoleon, Kublai Khan, Samson. Giants made of muscle and steel. But these women, even in those Bible movies, you see a Delilah and, uh, Scheherazade. I want to tell you my own private belief here. I think Satan is a woman. Think about it.
Well, that went wrong in a hurry.
You comin'?
No. Good to have at least one grown-up here, don't you think?
I'm gonna call my boss, see if he can stop this madness on a bureaucratic level.
Worth a shot.
This thing's officially out of control.
JCJeb Cheney
You Minnesota boys don't got much in the way of backbone, now, do ya?
Well, now, I wouldn't say that. Just like to think things through.
JCJeb Cheney
Mm. Army?
Yes, sir. Liberated France in the great war. Not single-handedly, but I like to think they couldn't have done it without me.
JCJeb Cheney
Well, then, you know it's the generals that do the thinkin' and everybody else just says, "How high?"
I'm not gonna debate the merits of top-down decision makin' with ya, Captain. 'Cept to say I had a lieutenant in the war, and h-he told Eisenhower to go to hell once, on account of his orders woulda got us all killed. And I send that man a card every Christmas - 'cause I can.
Three times, I sent men to do a job. Three times, they come back unfinished. I'll handle this myself.
I miss them all.
We'll be together again. On high.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Fargo pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.