[Chris and Quagmire sit on a couch in Quagmire's house]
Okay, Chris, I think you'll be a great assistant. Your paperwork appears to be in order, but before we get started, do you own a pair of rubber boots that you'd have to wear if you worked on a fishing boat?
Uh, no, I don't think so.
Alright, I guess it'll be a light day today, but tomorrow, you should come wearing those.
Okay, got it.
Now, the first thing I need you to do is punch me in the stomach because I'm bad. [he stands up]
Is this a trick?
It's the furthest thing from a trick, go ahead. And it should be pretty hard, I'm a worse person than you think.
[Chris punches him in the stomach extremely hard. Quagmire hunches over and grunts in pain]
[strained] Okay, that's really good. Now I need you to call Time Warner about my cable bill.
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