All right, Quagmire, I have given this a lot of thought. I need you to shoot me in the arm and we can be friends again.
Okay.
[after realizing what he just told Quagmire] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no, I was supposed to offer, and then you were supposed to say, "No, Peter, I'm not gonna shoot you, although I do appreciate the gesture."
You better hand me the gun, Peter.
I passed the test?
[sternly] No, Peter. I'm gonna shoot you like a dirty animal.
But just the fact that I would make the offer is so meaningful to you...
Your offer means nothing, Peter. The only thing that means anything to me is a bullet in your arm. Now give me that!
Stop! Stop! Quagmire, let go!
Come on! You're not leaving here without being shot!
Look, I was trying to do the decent thing, like you'd see in a movie!
I'm putting that bullet in your arm, Peter!
[gets shot in the arm] Ah! Son of a bitch!
It's over. We're all friends again.
What the hell, Joe?!
I'm just trying to settle this nonsense.
Nothing got settled! You shot him! I'm the one who has to shoot him!
Wait a second, then I get to shoot Joe! Alright, he shot me! If we're doing things fair here, then- [gets shot in the head and falls]
Alright, we're good.
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