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S5

Family Guy · Season 5

Peter and Brian in “Peter's Two Dads”

[realizing] Oh my god. Lois, You're right. Booze made me fall down all those stairs. Booze killed my father. Well, from this day forward, I, Peter Griffin, will never drink again!

[Cut to Peter Griffin sitting on a couch and lightning the bong to do crack.]

[Entering the living room] Peter, what are you doing?

Crack.

[furiously] What the fuck!?

Hey, at least I'm not drinking, Brian.

Yeah, this isn't exactly a good substitute. Where'd you get crack?

From Black's.

What?

Yeah, right behind Black's Hardware store. There's a white guy selling it.

Look, doing crack is not the way to stop drinking. You need to get to the heart of why you drink in the first place. Look - here, [hands Peter a paper] this is the number of a hypnotherapist I want you to see.

[hesitantly] Alright, Brian...

Good.

[As soon Brian walks away, Peter Griffin resumes doing crack. Cut to Brian re-entering the living room later.]

Hey Peter, just thought I'd checked on you- [sees a stoned shirtless Peter now clutching to the couch cushion.] Oh my God!

GOV'MENT CAME AND TOOK MAH BAAAAABY!

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