“Married… with Cancer” quotes from Family Guy

Tell me about it. He called me a dick earlier. [slides one of her cups to Brian] I'm Jess.

Thanks! I'm Brian. Well Jess, bottoms up!

If you're lucky.

So this place... ah, worse than Syria, don't you think?

Yes! Everything about it is awful: the people, the music... [say it with Brian] if you can call it music.

Oh my God, we were grumpy and bitter at the same time!

Lois

Aaaaaaaaah!

[giggles] I like you, Brian! You say what's on your mind.

Hey, life's too short, right?

Oh, my God. Somebody call 911! ["9-1-1" series ad pops up] Damn it, Fox! That's not an invitation to ruin our moment to expand your media empire! ["Empire" ad pops up, sighs] Son of Zorn. [fatal error message shows up] Ha.

[offscreen] Welcome back, Brian.

That's Lou, the apartment manager, from when Brian moved out!

Ain't that something to flip your biscuit?

Tinazidine: the white, plastic pouch in your neighbor's mailbox that might be three months of drսg.