[V.O.] I was once happy, content, sloshing around in my own private, primordial pool. Then one day, for reasons beyond my control, I was repeatedly crushed over and over by the cruel cervix of my mother, Leslie. I put up a good fight, but I lost, for the first time, but not the last. I was born three days after 9/11. My mother and father spent two days in the hospital, holding me under the soft glow of the television, watching those towers fall over and over again, until the feelings of grief gave way to numbness. And then, without warning, a middle-class childhood in an American suburb.
...
[to Rue's parents] I'd say she's suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder...
[V.O.] It's not like I was physically abused or had a shortage of clean water or was molested by a family member.
...general anxiety disorder and possibly bipolar disorder. But she's a little young to tell.
...
So, explain this shit to me.
Honey, it's just the way your brain was hardwired. Plenty of great, intelligent, funny, interesting, and creative people have struggled with the same things you struggle with.
Like who?
Uh... [sighs] Vincent Van Gogh. Sylvia Plath. And your favorite: Britney Spears.
...
[V.O.] Until every second of every day, you find yourself trying to outrun your anxiety. And at some point, you make a choice about who you are and what you want.
...
[V.O.] I just showed up one day, without a map or a compass. Or to be honest, anyone capable of giving an iota of good fucking advice. And I know it all may seem sad, but guess what? I didn't build this system, nor did I fuck it up. And then, it happens. That moment when your breath starts to slow. And every time you breathe, you breathe out all the oxygen you have. And everything stops: Your heart, your lungs, then finally, your brain. And everything you feel, and wish, and wanna forget, it all just sinks. And then suddenly you give it air again, give it life again. I remember the first time it happened to me, I got so scared I wanted to call 911. Go to the hospital and be kept alive by machines and apple juice... but I didn't wanna look like an idiot, and I didn't wanna fuck up everyone's night. And then over time, it's all I wanted. Those two seconds of nothingness. I spent a good portion of the summer before junior year in rehab.
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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