[to Luka] When did you lose your faith? I've found with most people it comes and goes like intimacy in a relationship. Sometimes, it's so strong: a passion, rapture, and then, at other times, it's impossible, distant, lost. But that's not God, that's us. We put up our own barriers with our egos and our pain. He's always there no matter what.
“A Walk in the Woods” · Season 7, Episode 14
In this episode: Luka Kovač (2), Bishop Stewart (2), Abby Lockhart (1)
How long have you been having trouble breathing?
I'm just... gathering my strength.
We have to go to the hospital.
Pretty, isn't it? The snow. So much beauty.
Where's the phone? I need to call an ambulance...
-No, please, I only need a minute.
You're dying!
Evidently. As I was sitting here, I was reminded of the night I chose to become a priest. I'd been struggling with it for a long time, several years. Anyway, that night, I couldn't sleep so I got up and went out for a walk in the woods behind my father's house. It was snowing like it is now. I don't have any idea how long I walked but, at a certain point, I suddenly realized I didn't know which way to go. I'd gotten lost, I was frightened. As I looked up into that dark night, He came to me. I saw all those millions of snowflakes drifting down toward me, so still... So peaceful... Perfect. And I was filled with the love of our Lord, Jesus Christ like pouring wine into an empty glass. I'm afraid I may have wasted my life. For some reason I never accomplished the things that I should have, what God wanted of me and now I'm frightened... I'm afraid of dying. There, I said it. I am afraid to die.
We have to go to the hospital.
[quoting Psalm 23] "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leaders beside the still waters..."
Penny for your thoughts.
[chuckles] Pardon?
It means, what are you thinking about?
Nothing, really...I was thinking about the Bishop.
...Making love with me makes you think of a priest with lupus? [they laugh] You watch me when we make love.
You're beautiful.
What was her name?
Who?
Your wife.
...Danijela.
Did you love her very much?
...Yeah.
I'm glad.
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