“Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies” quotes from E.R.

Carol

Have you seen Mark? Is he okay?

Doug

Put it this way, he called a staff meeting.

Carol

Mark Greene?

Doug

Yep.

Carol

Glasses? Receding hair line? Broken heart?

Doug

That's the one.

Carol

[reading] "A man pushes a vacuum cleaner with a force of 70 Newtons at a 45-degree angle, and moves the vacuum cleaner 5 meters. How much work has he done?" Well... let's start with the unlikelihood of a man pushing a vacuum cleaner.

Doug

So, Natalie, you get a lot of ear infections, do you?

Can you just give me the Amoxicillin? I have a playdate.

You don't need to look! Just give me the antibiotic! Augmentin will be just fine if you're worried about resistance!

Doug

You know a lot of things about a lot of things, don't you, Natalie?

Yes, I do.

Doug

So do you want to tell Nurse Hathaway about Coulomb's law?

Carol

Ah, that's the fundamental law of electrostatics, which states that the force between two charged particles is directly proportional to the product of their charges.

Doug

And inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. Isn't that right, Natalie?

Doug

It looks like snow.

Carol

It smells like snow.

Doug

Carol, what does that mean?

Carol

You can smell snow coming. It has a smell.

Doug

It smells like burritos.

Carol

Look, what are we going to do about Mark?

Doug

Put him on a plane or have him killed.

Carol

I don't think I can take this much longer, you know? Maybe you should talk to him.

Doug

I talked to him once, he said he was okay. Ask him again, it gets a little weird.

Carol

Ohh, you'd be violating the guy code.

Doug

Guy code?

Carol

Yeah, of noncommunication.

Living with AIDS... that's nothing, but... knowing I gave it to you... there's no pill for that. I just have to face it. Every day. Hating me might feel good, but it won't change anything.

Jeanie

It doesn't feel good, Al. Nothing about this feels good.