Elementary · Season 1
Moriarty said you weren't to be harmed- but then, last night, she tried to have me killed!
... She? (Proctor aims his gun for the kill, but is suddenly shot five times from behind; as he falls dead, Irene comes through the door with her gun raised)
(now speaking with an English accent)...Bet you wish you'd run away with me when you had the chance.
...Moriarty.
(to Moriarty) You said there was only one person in the world who could surprise you... turns out, there's two.
[Watson decks a criminal with her baton.]
You've been tending to your self-defense. Well done.
It seems like this is very personal. Are you sure you want me to come along?
Without you the airline might seat me next to a morbidly obese person, or a child, or a morbidly obese child.
Good God, man. You look exactly the same!
As do you. Except that you've gained exactly one and a quarter stone, and your hairline's receded by half an inch.
You're slipping. I've gained exactly one and a half stone.
I'm not slipping, I've just grown more courteous.
Fatty, this is Watson. Watson, this is Fatty.
Fatty? (pats his stomach) I'd say I've slimmed down quite a bit, wouldn't you?
Lap band?
Exercise.
Exercise requires energy and ambition, and you've never had either.
Sherlock is addicted to being himself.
Where's your better half?
One mystery at a time, Detective.
[after Sherlock explains Harlan's background as a mathematician]
And you brought him here to help you make sense of the equations you found in the victim's house. I get that. What I don't get, is why he isn't wearing a shirt.
Every great thinker has a process, Watson. In Harlan's case, he doesn't like there to be anything between him and the numbers. Now I know you can feel quite Victorian about such things, so I gave him a little bell to ring in case he feels the need to disrobe completely. Having said that, I can't guarantee he won't sit on the furniture.
I've figured it out! It's P vs. NP!
[Sherlock and Watson look at him blankly.]
Guys, come on! It's one of the most famous problems in math history...!
Harlan, if we were mathematicians, you would not be here.
I know all about poisons, Watson, I've become an expert on them. But over the past few years, I've come to understand that there is nothing on this planet so toxic as guilt.
In other words, you plan on arguing on the internet all night.
No Belgian is that bad at backgammon.
[Emily buys Joan a six-month subscription to TrueRomantix.com.]
I meet people, you know. My life is not that weird!
[Sherlock texts her a series of photos: LEGO figures arranged in gruesome tableaux.]
Staged suicide, obviously. No one sticks their head in the oven anymore... (off Emily's look) Shut up, please.
What are you doing?
I'm looking at profiles of guys who winked at me on TrueRomantix.
I weep for the whole desperate lot of you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Elementary pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
