Elementary · Season 1
So did you learn anything, Watson?
Yeah, that you fight dirty.
No, I fight without mercy, a habit that you should develop if you hope to defend yourself against bigger, stronger opponents. Which may occur unless we limit ourselves to investigating crimes committed by small children or large house cats.
Well, it certainly sounds like you had feelings for her.
Perhaps but... nothing so mundane as love. I was adrift back then. I had-had no purpose. My so-called peers made me feel that that might always be the case. Abigail, she gave me a gift. A view inside a mind capable of murder.
So she was your first...
Killer, yeah. Without intending to, she-she helped me understand who I was and-and what I might do with my life.
First time in my career someone's alibi for murder has been that they were busy planning the same murder. If it weren't so frustrating, it would be interesting.
Sometimes, Watson, when one wants a diamond, one must resort to digging in a diamond mine.
For future reference, a morgue is not a diamond mine.
It's better. Diamonds are just pressed coal; corpses have stories, secrets.
Quite frankly, I'm surprised it's taken this long for the captain's marriage to buckle. He's an excellent detective.
What does that have to do with it?
Well, as you know, detection is a calling, not a job. Hardly leaves one with time left over to sustain the elaborate ruse of marriage.
Because, of course, you think marriage is an elaborate ruse.
There are other ways to describe it. An unnatural arrangement which forces its participants into an unhealthy monogamy. An accretion of petty fights and resentful compromises which, like Chinese water torture, slowly transforms both parties into howling, neurotic versions of their former selves.
What I want... is to be with my wife.
Now? After 28 years of missed dinners and weekends at the precinct?
Come on. When did I ever tell you I wanted to be anything but a cop?
When did I tell you that I was always gonna be okay with that?
I often wonder if I should have been born in another time. [...] My senses are unusually--well, one could even say, unnaturally keen. And ours is an era of distraction. It's a punishing drumbeat of constant input. This cacophony which follows us into our homes and into our beds, and seeps into our...into our souls, for want of a better word. For a long time, there was only one poultice for my raw nerve endings, and that was copious drug use. So in my less productive moments, I'm given to wonder...If I'd just been born when it was a little quieter out there, would I have even become an addict in the first place? Might I have been more focussed? A more fully realized person?
(joking) When, Ancient Greece?
Have you any idea what passed for dental care in the Hellenic era?
Could you just stay out of the eyeline?
You're joking. I was just standing here.
Yes, that's the problem.
[Sherlock is jabbing her while she's sleeping] Why are you poking me with your single stick?
I'm prodding the sheets in order to determine whether or not my brother is in there with you.
[to Mycroft] Would you kindly get in touch with the Marchioness? I would very much like to ask her why drug dealers want to murder her horse.
It seems that I'm at the mercy of the Holmes brothers.
[to youth studying book] What's today's word?
Borborygnus.
What's that mean?
[reads from book as if it were a spelling bee] "The sound of your stomach grumbling." Borborygnus.
Some words we just don't need, heh.
This is one of those "so many questions" moments. Why only three times a year?
Well, I'm not sure, having never milked a moose. I imagine one must catch it in the right mood.
You must by now be aware of my opinions regarding food. My wants in life are simple: a loaf of bread and a clean collar. The ritualization-slash-fetishization of eating is as egregious a waste of time as I can think of.
Everybody? Listen up. It has come to my attention that there's some of you that aren't thrilled the way some things are done around here. Think I've given our consultants a little too much sway. Some friends of mine wanted to let me know before it was too late to right the ship. And I appreciate that. We've got a mission here. It's to protect this city and the citizens that live in it. You are all part of that effort every day. Most of you do yourselves and this department proud. And for that, I want to thank you. But if anybody has a problem with how I utilize all the tools at my disposal, be it Holmes and Watson or the coffee machine... (in an adamantine overtone) there's the door. Back to work.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Elementary pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
