Holmes quotes from Elementary

Watson

And how does Napoleon Bonaparte fit in?

By the time of my third night without sleep, I may have been reaching.

Watson

Your hobby is conspiracy theories?

No, of course not. Conspiracy theories are pure sophistry. Large groups of people cannot keep secrets. My hobby is conspiracy theorists. I adore them as one would a barmy uncle or a pet that can’t stop walking into walls.

Watson

I thought there was no such thing as conspiracy theories?

Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, Watson.

Watson

Oh, it's that simple? You're just going to find five classified names?

Why not? It's my day off.

Watson

Their plan to attack it was so good they made it a national secret.

The world is balanced on a knife edge of destruction every single day. You accept that, and you can just get on with things.

Watson

I'm going to bed. You need anything?

I know that Catherine Drummond is obsessed with her work. She prides herself on the accuracy of her profiles, but do you think she would have gone so far as to destroy a family to lend credence to one of her claims?

Watson

Did you ever consider the possibility that she lied about you in the article?

What would she have to gain? I was never revealed as the subject in the article. No one ever compared me to it. Anyway, she got a good deal right.

Watson

She predicted your drug problem. So what? You got clean. You picked up your career right where you left off, and you even made a friend, something that Catherine claimed in her article was virtually impossible. Me. I'm talking about me. Look, my point is, the only thing that anyone can predict about people with 100 percent certainty is that they'll change, and anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves.

(on Officer Reyes) She boxes. I can tell from her knuckles and the tape residue. Perhaps she would agree to spar with you. Give me an idea of what you might be like with an opponent in your similar weight class.

Watson

Are you sure this sudden new interest in my safety has nothing to do with watching two women engage in some foxy boxing?

You think you're foxy?

Watson

OW! What the hell was that about?!

Don't be cross. It could have been a knife.

Watson

Ah, I take the bathroom is also a bust.

That depends. Can you think of any reason that Bell would have a lingerie catalog on which your head has been super-imposed on almost all of the models? (Watson looks outraged) He hasn't, but can you think of any reason he would?

Watson

You know what, I appreciate your concern with my safety, I really do, but I think we need to have a conversation about boundaries. Okay, you've given me this incredible window into what you do, and you know what? It is fascinating. But at the end of the day, I am not your apprentice, I am your sober companion.

No, you're not! No, you are not. You haven't been for quite some time.

Watson

Sherlock, what are you-?

I know that you lied to me several weeks ago, when you said that my father had renewed your contract. I found out when I telephoned him last week. I'm not angry. If anything, I am grateful. You saw that I was in a raw state and you stayed to see me through it. Now when I learned of the lie, however, I deliberately adopted a more sanguine mood. I wanted you to see that I was well again, so that you could move on. But the most curious thing happened: you stayed. Days passed, then a week. It became clearer and clearer that you were not staying for me, but for yourself.

Watson

Sherlock, I-

It's difficult for you to say aloud, I know. So I won't ask you to. Rather, I would ask you to consider a proposal: stay on permanently. Not as my sober companion, but as my companion. Allow me to continue to teach you, assist me in my investigations. In return you will receive a stipend that will, at least, equal the salary my father was paying you.

Watson

You don't even have a source of income.

I have certain funds set aside. You may continue to reside at the brownstone. You may reside elsewhere. You may also consider yourself relieved of any and all confidentiality burdens with regards to my sobriety. This is an important decision and I encourage you to discuss it with others. Explain what you have been to me, and what I believe you can be to me... a partner.

Oh, and lest you think this is an act of charity, a gift from a grateful client, let me assure you it is not. I am better with you Watson. I'm sharper, I'm more focused. Difficult to say why, exactly. Perhaps in time I'll solve that as well.

Watson

There's just one thing we're going to need for this to work.

Oh, what's that?

Ow!

Watson

Could have been a knife.

Watson

You think you can find the guy from a patch?

Stranger things, Watson...

How, in this case, does "A" lead to "B"?

Watson

Maybe "A" didn't lead to "B"... maybe "B" led to "A".

Would you please give [Captain Gregson] this message? "Fairly certain E-R-O-C will be robbed today, connected to security guard murder, Sherlock Holmes. Over." Right, we need to get to East Rutherford, New Jersey.

Watson

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought the whole reason we left the house was because we could not reach the police.

Well, we have no idea if they're going to get the message, or whether they can spare the manpower if by some miracle they do get the message. And we don't even have any proof. No, the most sensible course is for us to go to EROC ourselves.

Watson

And do what? What if there are fifty commandos shooting up the place?

Well, I have my whistle. (Watson starts to protest) I don't know what's gonna happen next! That's what makes this an adventure. So, Pam, very sorry to do this, but we're commandeering this vehicle on behalf of the NYPD. Let's go!

(unimpressed) You, get out. (to Watson) You, I can give a ride home to if you want.

Yesterday you complained when I took Ms. Hudson in.

Watson

Yesterday I was upset because you brought a stranger into our shared living space without asking. Today she's no longer a stranger. I like Ms. Hudson. You know, she's lost. She's just trying to figure herself out.

You identify with her. She's like you were before you met me.

Watson

What?

Lost, trying to figure yourself out.

Watson

No, I reject that analogy. I just want to help her. I think it would be good if Ms. Hudson learned to take care of herself, that's all.