Holmes quotes from Elementary

I'm looking for a syringe.

Watson

What for?

I'm going to stab it into the softest part of Miss Ellison's thigh. Lots of nerve endings there. No one can fake their way through that.

Watson

If you wanted to know if she was really in a coma, all you had to do was ask. [lifts Yvette Ellison's arm and lets go]

That's okay but I can't stab her in the thigh?

Watson

You're not supposed to be working here.

Would you rather I put myself into another trance?

Watson

Oh, I already thought of that. (shows him a thumbtack) You even think about zoning out, this goes into the softest part of your thigh. Lots of nerve endings there.

You wouldn't dare.

Watson

Do you close yourself off to people and deny yourself things that might bring you pleasure not because it makes you a better investigator, but because it's some sort of penance?

Penance?

Watson

For what happened in London; being addicted. I don't know. I guess it just occurred to me that it might be something someone might do and not even know it.

Well, you always know it, Watson. If you didn't, it wouldn't be penance.

Watson

Have you been up all night?

I started digging through one of the files I keep on open serial murders. After you'd gone to bed I lost track of time. Still losing track of it as a matter of fact. No jogging, sorry.

Watson

I thought that we both agreed that a little exercise would be a good addition to your sobriety.

For future reference, when I say that 'I agree with you' it means I'm not listening.

Watson

Do you know what else is great? Jazzercise. Get you some leg warmers, headband, you'll look awesome.

I agree with you.

I'm not sleeping. I'm just reviewing the details of the case in my mind.

Watson

I'm sorry. Were you talking to me? Because I thought I was just a cavernous expanse between two ears.

You mustn't be so sensitive, Watson. The service you're providing is quite valuable. For a brief stretch in London I talked only to a phrenology bust I kept in my study. I named him Angus. It wasn't the same. I realized that when it came to listeners I preferred animates to inanimate. Quite a breakthrough, really.

Watson

Angus. I'm glad I made it to the "animate" category.

I have an immunity deal.

For crimes committed "in consort with" Samuel Abbott.

What are you doing?

Watson

Depriving you of all stimulus.

What? No! No, no, no. Right after you solve a case you're flush with success. We should double down on work.

Watson

We?

You, me, [holds up bust] Angus! Some combination of the three. You already know I favor you.

"CUS", I think that means "See You Soon". But what does "IMLTHO" stand for?

It means "In My Less Than Humble Opinion".

Watson

Your abbreviations are becoming borderline indecipherable. I don't know why, because you are obviously capable of being articulate.

Language is evolving Watson. Becoming a more efficient version of itself. I love text short hand. It allows you to convey content and tone, without losing velocity.

Met a man I see. Handsome one at that.

Watson

Um, this is the part where I ask you how you knew that, right?

You put your hair up when you want to look your best. You think it's more flattering. You're wrong of course. It's a draw.

Watson

The guys at Wall Street are more... formal, in the way they dress.

Those are costumes. I loathe bankers. They rig the roulette wheel of commerce, very nearly destroy the world economy and they still think if they wear suits they'll be treated as respectable folk instead of the crooks that they are.

It has its costs.

Watson

What does?

Learning to see the puzzle in everything. They're everywhere. Once you start looking, it's impossible to stop. It just so happens that people, with all the deceits and illusions that inform everything they do, tend to be the most facinating puzzles of all. Of course, they don't always appreciate being seen as such.

Watson

Seems like a lonely way to live.

As I said. Has its costs.

Watson

Any luck?

Luck is an offensive, abhorrent concept. The idea that there is a force in the universe tilting events in your favor or against it is ridiculous. Idiots rely on luck.

Watson

So that'd be a no.

Watson

I was thinking sushi tonight.

Salmonella, vibrio parahaemolyticus, mercury poisoning, Anasakis simplex: all illnesses contractible from eating raw fish. Anasakis, of particular note, is a worm that can burrow into the wall of the lower intestine, often requiring surgery to remove it. But yeah, sushi's good.

I must say, Watson, I enjoyed catching a glimpse of you in your former element. It seems to me your friend was right. You were quite a doctor.

Watson

I had my moments.

Maybe you'll give it another go one of these days.

[shouting over the noise] Too loud? Sorry! I went downstairs to get some cereal; didn't want to miss anything. This city has excellent scanner apps, but there's nothing like the tactility of the original devices, all those dials and buttons.

Watson

You like pushing buttons. I'm stunned. You've been glued to these for the last few days.

Slow week, at least in regards to murder and mayhem. Captain Gregson hasn't called once.

Watson

Maybe some lunatic will throw his mother-in-law in the wood chipper, give you something to do today.