El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera quotes

This is nuts! I thought you quit superheroing because you couldn't handle the danger!

I couldn't handle how much I loved the danger. I was afraid it would become an obsession, but now I know that I am PERFECTLY IN CONTROL! [cackles in derangement]

El Oso

For a hero, she gots a good evil laugh, man.

Mom, this has to stop!

You've been spending too much time with that evil Grandpapi of yours. Your father would never back down from a fight with villains!

He also wouldn't have busted them out of jail.

You're… you're right, mijo. I've got it all wrong.

Stop hitting my mom… Mom!

Only a villain would help a villain like me! I will make you PAY!

Frida

[spits out popcorn, having to have heard that] She's doing what now?!

No, Mom, you don't mean it! That's the glove talking!

Manny, RUN!

[giving her announcement] Villains of Miracle City… and White Pantera. [Rodolfo waves sheepishly] I am retiring! [all the villains gasp] I've had a good run of evil over the past few hundred years, but these old bones need a rest. It's time someone else ruled my empire. On that thought, please, welcome my grandson… Django of the Dead!

My successor will be…one of you! Tomorrow, I will hold a tournament beneath the Miracle City volcano. The winner will receive my mystic guitar! My skeleton bandito army. And a three-month subscription to "Villains Quarterly!"

Yes, yes, yes, magnifico! [laughs while hyperventilating] What? Is good magazine.

Get some rest, my comrades in evil. You will need it.

Manny

Can you believe them?

Frida

No. And what century did movies cost a quarter?!

Manny

They think they know everything just 'cause they're old.

[giving out her attention to all the villains] Villains, you will all compete in a series of events designed by me. If you lose even once, you will be eliminated… [all the villains gasp in shock] From the tournament. [all the villains then sigh in relief] Ah. The last competitors are here.

Anyone who is here can compete. [strums her mystic guitar, closing the entrances] Because no one leaves the volcano until the tournament is over. NO ONE!!!

El Mal Verde

You will hold us prisoner?

El Oso

I didn't pack a lunch.

No! I have to return these DVDs by 10:00 or I get charged for another day!

The competition begins NOW! The last one left (standing) in the circle will continue on in the tournament.

You know what they say, the bigger they are…

Frida

The more likely they'll cause internal bleeding! I know! What?

El Tigre wins! Uh, go figure. And to ensure that no one leaves, all losers will be shackled!

El Mal Verde

Nobody shackles Mal Verde!

[glares at him and blasts him with her mystic guitar and he gets shackled with the other losers] Anyone else got a comment?

El Oso

No.

Seems clear.

General Chapuza

We love you.

What's a comment?

Good. You will all be freed once we have a winner. Now, prepare for your events!

ENOUGH! You think I'm just some kid you can boss around? [to his father] I'm not your side… [to his Grandpapi] and I'm not on your side. I'm on my side. And if you don't wanna get hurt… [viciously] stay out of my way.

The final event! Whoever wins, inherits my empire! You must knock your opponents off the platforms. I call this challenge… Knock Your Opponents off the Platforms!

I warned you to stay out of my way… And you're like one foot off the ground.

Yes, well, you're still very mean.

[claps slowly] See? He has chosen power over family. I told you he was a true villain.

[confused] Django? What?

He is indeed worthy. El Tigre, join us. With you and Django by my side, we will rule the world!

Huh? You said you were retiring!

Yes, but I… FIBBED! [cackles wickedly]

A fib?!

El Oso

It can't be!

Never trust a villain.

Your plan worked perfectly, Django.

Your plan?

Yes. I devised this tournament as a way to get all of grandmother's evil competition in one place and DESTROY THEM!

Frida

That is one complicated evil plan.

He truly is an artist.

El Oso

I would applaud if he weren't destroying me.

Wait, so that's real lava?

Django, I really appreciate this.

The offer to join us?

No. You're sticking out your hand like an idiot.

[chuckles nervously as Sartana stands in front of him] Hey there. Sorry about Django, huh?

Don't worry. He's a fast healer. [strums her mystic guitar, resurrecting her grandson]

[emerging from the lava with lava hands; savagely] El Tigre, you will PAY!

Get ready for play catch, lava bone boy!

No, this is my fight.

But Manny...

Papi, Manny was right. He's not a child anymore. We must let him fight his own battles.

Frida

Manny, red hot lava! Getting close, but no pressure!