Eerie, Indiana quotes

Live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse.

Marshall Teller

Melanie!

Mars, what are you doing here?

Marshall Teller

Devon was hit by a car.

... My God. Is he still OK?

Marshall Teller

I dunno. They brought him in a half-hour ago. What're you doing here?

They found a heart for me a half-hour ago.

Marshall Teller

That's when I learned that Devon had died. And Melanie was about to get the new heart she needed. His.

Marshall Teller

The Eerie library needed some fast cash to pay for renovations, so some of the old books that were down in the library basement got sent to the World O'Stuff and put up for sale. We're talking old books, books that haven't seen the light of day for years.

Marshall Teller

The World O'Stuff was overrun by barbarians - little barbarians. If you gave these guys an island and no parents, they'd be Lord Of The Flies. It was every customer for himself. Luckily, I was just there to use the phone. My bike had disappeared moments before and I was calling my Mom for a ride home.

Marshall

Being 13 years old, I'd never thought much about time. I guess when you're a kid, you just figure you've got plenty of time to think about it later. Well, here in Eerie, nothing could be further from the truth.

Marshall Teller

It's easy to believe almost anything when you consider just how big the universe is. It's even easier to believe the inbelievable here in my little corner of the universe. That's why, when Professor Nigel Zircon rolled into town with his travelling museum of the parabelievable, Simon and I were the first in line.

Marshall

Back in New Jersey, we had blizzards and the occasional hurricane, but it was Equal Opportunity weather: it went after everybody. But here in Eerie, Indiana, I couldn't help feeling that the bad weather was after me personally. Especially tornadoes. Tornadoes are 200 mile-an-hour windstorms with minds of their own. But here in Eerie, instead of taking shelter in their basements, people celebrated something called Tornado Day.

Marshall

Eerie, Indiana, Day 139. He said his name was Howard Raymer and that he fell out of a tornado. Even on the Eerie Scale of Weirdness from 1 to 10, 10 being the weirdest, this was definitely a 9... and a half.

It's incredibly dangerous, but, hey, somebody's got to do it. I work for NOAA.

Simon Holmes

The guy from the Bible?

No, no, no, NOAA. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. I'm a meteorologist.

Marshall

I've never met a weatherman before.

No, weathermen are guys who wear stupid pink bowties on TV. A meteorologist is a scientist.

Marshall Teller

It seems like every town has a haunted house and a creepy story that goes with it. Kids all dare each other to go inside, but nobody ever does, because a friend-of-a-friend knows a guy that went in - and never came out. Every town has one, but here in Eerie, Simon and I have counted over 50 haunted structures. Today, we were checking out number 51...

Marshall

The weirdest thing happened down at the World O'Stuff. It turns out the reason Radford always acted so weird was because he wasn't really Radford. He was Fred Suggs, compulsive imposter. Evidently, the real Radford had been tied up in the basement the whole time.

See, three months ago, I wake up here in Weirdsville, Indiana and I don't remember anything. How I got here. Who I am. Nothing. Zip. Zero. Not even my own name.

Simon Holmes

Wow.

Yeah. No mom. No dad. Just me looking out for myself. I crash wherever I can and I dumpster dive for food.

Simon

Why don't you go to the police for help?

This town doesn't exactly take kindly to strangers. And, in case you haven't noticed, anyone who is even remotely normal qualifies as a stranger around here.

Marshall Teller

I wasn't the only one who thought this Harvest King hoopla was for the birds. I hadn't seen that weird kid with the grey hair since our little adventure with the ghost of Grungy Bill. I could tell he wasn't somebody to mess with. It seems we were the only two guys not buying lottery tickets. Why - did he know something I didn't? The Harvest King gets all sorts of dorky prizes, but then he must go out into the woods during a full moon until he catches a glimpse of the mysterious Eerie Wolf. What I wanted to know was - how come there's no such thing as an ex-Harvest King?

Marshall

Guys, we're just wasting our time, I'm doomed to being a teenage werewolf.

Marshall

Think my parents will notice?

Simon Holmes

Knowing your parents, nah.

Marshall

Well, if they do, I'll just chock it up to puberty.

Simon

Puberty. Now that's eerie.

Marshall

Just wait 'til it's your turn.

Marshall

Simon and I had decided to make a rare appearance with the family, stuffing ourselves at the Dragon of The Black Pool Chinese restaurant. It's a place where the egg rolls aren't too shabby, and the fortune cookies are the kind you can only find in Eerie.