Eerie, Indiana quotes

That's Todd-ski and Donna-ski.

They take your b-b-brain too?

Marshall

Thanks to the Brainalizer, my nine-year-old buddy, Simon, now had an Einsteinian intellect - and a pretty snobby personality to boot.

Marshall Teller

Sometimes it gets tough battling the forces of Eerie by myself, even with a little help from Simon, but I always thought I could count on Mom and Dad for a dose of normality. But then Dad joined The Loyal Order of Corn, Eerie's version of the Moose Lodge, and started spending all his free time there, which drove Mom crazy. I'd never even noticed the place.

Marshall

While penetrating the inner sanctum of the Loyal Order of Corn, my trusted associate Simon somehow got transmitted to the planet Mars - no thanks to my untrusted non-associate who insisted on being called Dash X!

Marshall

The next morning, Mom and Dad claimed to have no memory of the events at the Lodge. And Radford changes the subject whenever I bring it up. But that won't stop me, Simon and our semi-friend Dash X from digging deeper, because in Eerie, Indiana, when you scrape away the surface weirdness, what you find is more weirdness.

Marshall Teller

Credit is weird. People love to buy stuff with it, especially stuff they don't need. But when it comes time to pay, they'll do anything not to. Especially if they are broke - like me.

Marshall

As Simon and I approached the World O'Stuff it became clear that I wasn't the only one who was shopping in his dreams.

Marshall

You gotta stop this. They don't even know what they're buying.

Hey, it's the American way.

Marshall

Listen, mister, nobody turns my family into zombies and gets away with it.

They're not zombies, they're consumers.

Marshall

The Donald wasn't a good loser. There are only two things that are certain in this world according to Benjamin Franklin: death and taxes. 200 years later in Eerie, ol' Ben had no idea how right he was.

Marshall Teller

Eerie, Indiana, Day... 0. When you're 13, going on family outings is about as cool as getting caught still sleeping with Mr. Blanky.

Marshall

I don't have a dog named Toto. But if I did, right about now, I'd be telling him: "Toto, I don't think we're in Indiana anymore."

Simon Holmes

What makes you think he's here?

Because he's the kind of guy who actually believes that there's no place like home.

Marshall Teller

Back in Jersey, the Pit Bull Surfers were real popular with all the metalheads. I like 'em 'cause they're so dumb. Well, one day, they finally hit Eerie. Unfortunately, they hit my friend Todd McNulty the hardest. His family lost their farm about a year ago and his Dad was still out of work. I thought a little mindless headbanging music would cheer him up, maybe change his outlook.