TV show quotes
Are you willing to take responsibility for him?
Personally? You see that's the problem, sir, in that, you know, I date a lot, and--
Huey and Louis get him.
Good call, Lieutenant.
I'll take responsibility, sir.
You want him?
It's a Mountie thing, sir. Two more points and he gets to go camping.
Wow. So I took out the trash, washed the walls, and made the bed eight-thousand times. What's next, maneuvers?
[hands Willie some money] Here.
For what?
You earned it.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Goodnight Diefenbaker.
Fraser? You know crack dealers are even afraid to come into this neighborhood?
Goodnight, Willie.
Fraser?
Uh-huh?
Why is this money pink?
Goodnight Willie.
Goodnight.
He is in on it.
Yes.
Don't ask me how I know, but I know. How do you know?
Same way you do.
I guessed.
Oh.
What do you mean, "Oh" How do you know? You stick a wet finger in the air and you decide he was a thief?
No, no. From that all I can tell is they have a malfunction in the ventilating system. [to a repairman] Pardon me, you have a broken cooling vent in Suite B [to Ray] It's of no importance, Ray.
You know, Ray, when I was a young man, my father told me one thing to always remember about thieves. Well, actually, he told me two things, but I've forgotten the other one. Anyway, the important one is, that despite the adage, you will rarely find honor among thieves.
You can't remember the other one?
It was something about tying a wallet to your underwear. I was very young at the time. Anyway, the point is, if they took the money during the robbery then Hamlin would have to trust them to give him his share.
Don't move, Boy Scout. Back right off.
You alright, Ray?
I'm well, Fraser, and you?
[to Fraser] Dead in your tracks! Right there. Take out the gun and drop it on the floor.
Don't do it, Fraser. Take the shot.
I'm afraid I'm not carrying a gun.
Drop the gun.
I honestly don't have one.
[about Fraser] Sharp shooter first class. Can take the head off a pin.
He's right about that.
[to Morgan] Drop it or he takes you out.
I would if I had a gun, Ray.
Show me the gun!
Well we'd have to go back to my office. I do have this knife.
Oh, that's good Benny. Threaten her with your camping utensils.
She shot my hat, Ray.
She shot you in the hat?
I can feel air coming in through the hole.
She shot you in the hat, alright.
How does it look?
Doesn't look good.
We'll have to go home and get my other one.
We can do that, Fraser.
Thanks, Ray.
...All I'm saying is, in the future, it's a good idea that you don't suggest somebody shoot me.
Well I didn't want to, Ray, but it was necessary in order to enrage her.
You wanted to enrage the person that had a gun to my neck. That was your strategy?
I knew that if I kept at it, eventually I'd draw her fire and you'd get your shot. And I knew you'd trust me.
But I didn't.
Yes you did.
No, I didn't.
Yes. You did.
No. I didn't.
Well of course you did. Maybe you just weren't fully aware of it.
I was very aware of my feelings toward you, Fraser.
Well if you didn't know what I was planning, then why'd you follow along?
I wasn't playing along, I was begging for my life!
Oh. Oh well, uh, my mistake.
Mistake?! You coulda got me killed!
Well no, I'd never allow that - you're my friend. You're my best friend, I'd have to say.
I am? [pause] Hey! Exactly how many "best friends" have you had?
Elaine you should have seen me. So I land on this conveyor belt and this guy, he jumps on my back, and then suddenly--
Fraser saves you.
'[pause] No, no. I flipped the guy off, but then he grabs a crowbar, right? And he swings it at my--
Fraser grabs it.
[frustrated] No. I duck and then out of nowhere--
Fraser appears.
[evil grin] Did you know that he pins his wallet to his underwear?
Cool.
Well, actually, I was very young and the underwear was rather long and I... [Fraser turns from Elaine and looks for Ray] Ray?
Okay.
All right, you come over, feed and water him twice a day, and I'll take him out when I get home at night. Deal?
Deal.
It's twenty-five dollars a week, as long as you stay in school. [Fraser gives him Canadian money]
Wait a minute. That, uh...
I know, I know. I'm sorry. Ray, would you mind?
Here, take the wallet. Just give me an allowance.
You can't keep doing this, you know.
What's that?
Romping through the streets of Chicago, rescuing widows and orphans as you may.
It's just one kid, Ray.
You're not in a small town anymore. You can't rescue everyone you meet.
No, I understand.
Hey Fraser, thanks for the boots!
Glad they fit, Gerome!
[Fraser is walking down his hall]
Morning, Mr. Mustafi. [door slams] Mr. Campbell. [door slams] Good morning, Mrs. Garcia. [door slams]
Constable Fraser. I hear you're quite the Good Samaritan. I didn't know we had any left in this town.
Well I'm sure any one of his neighbors would have done the same.
[gives a skeptical look] Yeah. Well, Mr. Pike has suffered considerable soft tissue damage, but none of his injuries are life-threatening.
Thank you. Oh excuse me, Dr. Howard. Is there any medical reason why Charlie might be prone to these accidents? Perhaps an inner ear imbalance resulting from an old boxing injury?
How did you know Charlie was a boxer?
Well, his nose cartilage has been reduced by almost 80%, and his left eye socket is raised about a half a centimeter above the right, indicating a slight shift in the cranial plates.
Where did you study?
The Inuvik Public Library. My grandparents were librarians.
You're kidding?
No.
[Ray is sitting at a bar watching a game on TV]
[his cell phone rings] Ma, I can't talk I'm on a stakeout.
Uh, Ray?
Benny! Benny, you gotta get down here right away. The Bears are finally kicking some butt!
[walking to his apartment door] Evening Mrs. Garcia. How are you tonight? [door slams] Evening Mrs. Campbell. [door slams]
[to Diefenbaker] I brought you supper. Oh you know, I was hoping to, uh, be able to spend some time with you this evening, but I, uh, have a dinner engagement with a very nice woman that I meet in a parking lot. And I can't cancel it because I don't know her phone number - or her name for that matter. No, it's not what you're thinking. It isn't. And you know something? I-I-I don't appreciate your attitude. Y-y-y-you're very judgmental. Just because you were right once does not make you infallible. I am perfectly capable of handling myself in any situation. I am- I am a Mountie. [puts milk in cabinet instead of refrigerator]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Due South pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
