Yo, you guys wanna move, or do you want to find out what fine Italian footwear tastes like?
“The Man Who Knew Too Little” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Ray Vecchio (19), Benton Fraser (10), Ian (4), Welsh (1)
So, you really thought you could get this assignment by sucking up to me, Detective?
Oh, no sir - a man of your considerable intelligence would see right through that, sir!
Okay, so, at ninety-five miles an hour, how long's it gonna take?
I can't tell you that, Ray. It would recklessly endanger the lives of thousands of motorists.
Okay, so, say ninety?
You know what your problem is, Fraser? You can't do around compulsively telling people the truth. They just don't want to hear it.
Well, I explained the situation to him, and he was extremely helpful.
Did he rent you a car?
No, but he doesn't have any.
What do you mean he doesn't have any? There's gotta be a hundred cars in this lot!
Unfortunately, they're all reserved. I didn't realize Spiro Agnew's birthday was that widely celebrated. Also, I thought it was in November...
This is a 1971 mint condition Buick Riviera.
You know, Ray, you really don't have to do this. I'm sure I can find someone who will lend me a car.
How many people have we asked?
Well... uh, basically, everyone I know. It does seem rather curious they've all decided to leave town at exactly the same time...
Now, in the care and operation of this vehicle there is one thing to remember and hold above all else: never, I repeat never use the lighter. Of all the original parts in this car it was the most difficult to replace. It took me seven years to find that lighter and since I've owned it it's never been depressed.
Then... how do you know it works?
I know in my soul.
Are you sure you know where we are?
Yeah, halfway between freedom and incarceration.
Aw, come on! I haven't eaten since the lock-up! I know my rights. You have to feed me every six hours.
Yeah, well, it's only been five.
Six! We passed a time zone.
That doesn't count! Fraser, you tell him.
Well, actually, Ray, the legal scholars seem to be fairly equally divided on this point. One argument, extended to its logical conclusion, would provide that if you were traveling west at a rate of speed high enough to cross one time zone every hour, then you would never actually have to feed the prisoner. That is, of course, until you crossed the international date line, at which point you would have to force the prisoner to immediately consume four meals.
Are you telling that story for my benefit? Because a) I don't believe it and b) I don't care.
All right, MacDonald - you wanna tell us who wants you dead, excluding the immediate occupants of this car?
All right, you want the real truth? Here it is: those guys are part of the Canadian mob.
There's no such thing!
On the contrary, Ray, organized crime is a growing problem in Canada.
Oh, yeah? What are we talking about here, conspiracy to commit jaywalking? Organized littering?
The guy in the hat? Danny 'The Bull' Brock. One of his guys stiffed him on a count so he took him into an alley and shot him eight times.
So is that one time with eight bullets, or eight separate times? Because in America, after the third trip down the same alley we'd start to get a little suspicious.
My shoe! Mother Nature just ate my shoe!
My father said something that's always stuck with me, Ray.
Your father never shut up, did he?
He said a man with no future will always run to his past.
And when did this come up, Fraser? Were you sitting around at breakfast when he came up with these things? Or did he come running into your room and just blurt 'em out?
Ray, there's no need to be sarcastic.
No, I'm just curious. How did he work these things into every day conversation? Did he say, 'Son, did you see the size of that moose? And by the way, a man with no future will always run to his past'?
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