December 25... Christmas. Getting is good. Giving is better. Once you understand that, it's always Christmas.
S1 E13Doogie the Red-Nosed Reindeer
CDr. Canfield
We've got a lot of gifts to give out. We'll start at pediatrics, then go to geriatrics, and if we don't make it to the psychiatric ward, we'll just tell them it's Christmas on Tuesday.
S1 E14Greed Is Good
January 12, 1990... I guess Joe E. Dunn was right -- The best prize of all is knowing that winning isn't always a victory and losing isn't always a defeat.
This is the sort of thing we'll look back on one day when we're old men, 30, and we'll laugh.
S1 E15Attack of the Green-Eyed Monster
January 17, 1990... Jealousy. You never outgrow it. As Bogey might have said... The only thing worse than a jealous lover is a slug from a .44... Then again, there's nothing better.
S1 E16It Ain't Over Till Mrs. Howser Sings
January 27, 1990... I met a really fascinating person this week ...My mother. Go figure.
S1 E17Tough Guys Don't Teach
February 7, 1990... Tank Seranski vs. Kid Howser. Tank gave me a black eye, a bloody nose and broke my hand. It was no contest. I killed him.
What's your name?
TTank
You don't read the sports section? Terry Seranski. First team, all state.
Oh, so you mean there's a whole team of people like you? [mock shiver] What a thought.
TTank
Hey, Bud, don't be getting smart with me.
You're right. How would you ever understand me?
S1 E18I Never Sold Shower Heads for My Father
February 15, 1990... Fathers and sons... When we're little we want to be just like them. When we're teenagers we want nothing to do with them. When we're adults we end up just like them.
The American dream is doing better than our fathers did, so our sons can do better than us.
S1 E19Doogie's Awesome, Excellent Adventure
February 24, 1990... There's nothing better than being cool and having a lot of friends... except being uncool and having one real friend.
Dad, can I take your 750 to the party tonight?
HDr. Howser
[pondering for a moment] No.
Why? I have proven myself to be responsible and mature.
HDr. Howser
A mature person doesn't wear an earring, cut holes in a brand new pair of jeans and call his father 'Mungo dude.' Right, dear?
HMrs. Howser
I like the earring.
S1 E20Use a Slurpy, Go to Jail
VSValerie Simpson
[from TV set] Again, the standoff here in a West Los Angeles convenience store heads into its third hour. At this time police are still withholding the names of both the gunman and his hostages.
VRVinnie and Raymond
What?
Withholding our names?
RRaymond
Man, I don't believe this! They're messing with my air time.
March 3, 1990... I never thought of myself as prejudiced against black people... but after last night, I think I might have to rethink what I thought.
S1 E21Whose Mid-Life Crisis Is It Anyway?
March 10, 1990... Tonight my dad heard people say things about him you usually don't hear until you're dead. He couldn't ask for a better reason to go on living.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Doogie Howser, M.D. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.