Doogie Howser quotes from Doogie Howser, M.D.

Doogie

January 20, 1993... Only pain can come to a jealous heart. I couldn't live with Michele seeing other guys. Now I'll have to learn to live without her.

Doogie

January 12, 1993... Vinnie was sure he was a loser and ended up failing at love. I was sure I was a genius and almost failed at medicine. Sometimes the person who can make the biggest fool out of you is yourself.

Doogie

February 5, 1993... Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the perfect babysitter -- mythical figures from childhood. I know there's no jolly fat man, I know Dad put the dollar under my pillow, but thank God I'll always have my Rachel Wilson.

Doogie

March 1, 1993... I gave up a beautiful co-ed and Vinnie gave up sixteen thousand dollars..in cash. All things being equal, integrity is hell.

Doogie

February 26, 1993... Tonight I did the unthinkable. I acted like an impulsive, crazy, adolescent, hormonal genius.

Doogie

February 5, 1993... I examined the facts to find the truth. But Vinnie showed me I had to look beyond the truth to find justice.

Doogie

March 21, 1993... Somewhere over the Atlantic. I've spent the last nineteen years learning how to be Doogie Howser, M.D. Now it's time to learn how to be just Doogie.

Vinnie

I'm addicted to sex.

Doogie

Vinnie, how is that possible? You're a virgin.

Doogie

What's your name?

You don't read the sports section? Terry Seranski. First team, all state.

Doogie

Oh, so you mean there's a whole team of people like you? [mock shiver] What a thought.

Hey, Bud, don't be getting smart with me.

Doogie

You're right. How would you ever understand me?

Doogie

Dad, can I take your 750 to the party tonight?

[pondering for a moment] No.

Doogie

Why? I have proven myself to be responsible and mature.

A mature person doesn't wear an earring, cut holes in a brand new pair of jeans and call his father 'Mungo dude.' Right, dear?

I like the earring.

Vinnie

What you doin'?

Doogie

Oh, I'm throwing all these old medical journals out.

Vinnie

Why?

Doogie

Well, I've memorized most of them.

Vinnie

I got my favorite educational journal memorized too.

Doogie

Which one?

Vinnie

Playboy. It's like weird. I've all kinds of trouble in history class but I can tell you that Miss July 1987's favorite pastimes are snow skiing, riding horses and baking. Is there some kind of medical term for what I got?

Doogie

I think you'd be diagnosed as a horndog.

Doogie

We get a lot of homeless people claiming to be other people. Last week a guy came in claiming to be Abraham Lincoln.

Vinnie

You're kiddin'.

Doogie

Seriously. He tried to emancipate Raymond three times.

Doogie

Uh, Vinnie is making a slasher movie.

Vinnie

It's not just a slasher movie. It's a statement about life, about angst-ridden teens, and their struggle to overcome parental oppression. Picture Rebel Without a Cause meets Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

I'm sorry. I'm not familiar with your references. I've always considered going to the movies a waste of time.

Vinnie

You know, Doog, the entire history of our great country could be deduced by studying women's underwear.

Doogie

This ought to be worth listening to. Go.

Vinnie

Take ancient times—the '50s. Our country was very uptight. Women wore utilitarian brassieres: plain white cotton, three hooks. We're talking monster bras.

Doogie

That's insightful.

Vinnie

But then came the '60s. Things loosened up. The youth movement kicked in. Burn the bra! Let it all hang out. The beauty of the natural woman fully visible under a diaphanous tie-dyed garment.

Doogie

Right on. Right on.

Vinnie

But then came the '70s. Nixon was President. Watergate. America was depressed. Women went back to covering their breasts.

Doogie

It was a black era, Vinnie.

Vinnie

But this is a great country, Doog. We were down but not out. The '80s came along, and as a nation, we rallied. American womanhood stood tall, took off their blouses and said, "I'm proud! I'm free! I'm gonna wear my underwear on the outside! [begins singing America the Beautiful]

Isn't it amazing? There didn't have to be a universe at all. And even if there did have to be a universe, it didn't have to be so beautiful. But it is. So beautiful. And here. In all of outer space, with all the places that the Sun and the Earth and the Moon could be. They're right here. In perfect alignment. Isn't it a miracle? [Shannon turns her head towards Doogie returning his gaze. Doogie and Shannon lean forward and kiss.]

Doogie

But it can't last. Just tonight.

Yeah. But maybe it's enough that it happens at all. One bright shining moment.

Doogie

And the really miraculous thing is... it'll happen again and again and again. [Doogie and Shannon kiss again]