Doctor Who · Season 15
Are we interrupting something?
What did you say, citizen?
Somehow I have the impression you're thinking of killing yourself.
It's the taxes.
Hmm?
It's the taxes, I can't pay the taxes!
Oh, the taxes! My dear old thing, all you need is a wily accountant! Would you care for a Jelly baby?
We're looking for the doctor, have you seen him?
You're his friends?
Look! Jelly Babies!
Jelly Babies! You have seen him! Where is he?
There are no gods but me! Have I not created myself? Do I not rule? Am I not all-powerful?
Well, yes, here you are, but nowhere else — you're just another machine with megalomania, heh, another insane object! Another self-aggrandizing artifact! You're nothing! Nothing but a mass of superheated junk with delusions of grandeur!
Undue haste is one thing, vulgar bad manners another. I normally take the oath to consider an induction, let alone assemble one.
Unsettled times, eh, Gomer? Though still the time will throw up the man.
They say with time, wisdom comes to a man. Aren't you due for regeneration?
I believe I have wisdom to fit my years.
Just so, Lord Savar. Cyclic burst.
I beg your pardon?
The answer may lie in the cyclic burst ratio.
A black star protects us. What is a cyclic burst ratio?
A little study of mine, a hobby. You comprehend hobby?
I believe I've come across it, sir, but I fail to understand any significant meaning.
[Leela and Andred enter]
That doesn't surprise me. I'm making a study of what I would term wavelength broadcast power transduction.
Really.
Yes. You see, I've noticed lately, well, over the last decade or so, an enormous fluctuation in relative wavelength transduction over a particularly narrow band.
Even the sonic screwdriver won't get me out of this one!
Guard of honour? You're not fit to guard a jelly baby! Would you like a jelly baby?
Is there anything else I can get you, sir?
Yes. A jelly baby. My right-hand pocket.
What color would you prefer, sir?
Orange.
There doesn't appear to be an orange one--
[Seizing Castellan by the arm] One grows tired of jelly babies, Castellan.
Indeed one does, sir.
One grows tired of almost everything, Castellan.
Indeed, sir.
Except power.
I cannot interfere, only observe.
But what if they attacked you?
Then they would be very stupid; nothing can get past the transduction barriers.
[Cut to the Doctor and K9 in the TARDIS]
K9, destroy the transduction barriers.
Master. [moves forward]
[stops K9] Not yet.
Borusa! Call a meeting of the council at once!
But ex--
[losing his temper] AT ONCE! NO EXCUSES! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!
[Kelner and Borusa back out and the Doctor slams the door in their faces]
But you have access to the greatest source of knowledge in the universe!
Oh, I do talk to myself sometimes, yes...
Is it over?
Yes. [the outsiders cheer] It's been a long, hard road, but at last the future of Gallifrey is assured. [everyone stops cheering] What, what are you looking at? [turns around]
[Where the Vardans were now stand four squat aliens with round helmets. The leader draws his Rheon Carbine weapon]
Please don't fire that thing.
[walks forward] There is no advantage in killing, yet. Slavery is more efficient.
Do you know these things?
Sontaran troopers.
I am Commander Stor, of the Sontaran Special Space Service.
The SSSS. Isn't that carrying alliteration little too far?
[The Doctor, Leela and company are hiding in a corridor. A figure approaches]
A Sontaran.
What are these Sontarans?
A race devoted to perpetual war.
Then I shall kill him.
You don't know how.
Do you know?
Oh, yes.
Well, tell me.
Small vent at the back of the neck.
Is that all? [covers her mouth and calls in a deep voice] Over here!
[Her voice echoes down the corridor. The Sontaran turns to look behind him, and she throws her knife straight into his probic vent. The group run down to the body and Leela retrieves her weapon]
Oh, that was a prodigious throw!
Prodigious?
Well, it was an amazing throw.
Oh, it was nothing.
Unit groups three, five and seven, proceed immediately to level five. Expect the President and his bodyguard. Take him alive.
My lord...
Do not--
The president is--
SILENCE! [throws Kelner against the dais]
[The Sontarans are trying to break into the president's office]
That's not going to hold forever, Chancellor.
A heavy, easily fusible, soft, malleable base metal such as lead is not the best defence against heat-intensive weaponry.
I agree.
Fortunately, someone had the good sense to reinforce the structure with a titanium-based alloy.
[smiles] Your recipe?
A suggestion of mine, yes.
I've kept you waiting, chancellor.
I'm quite comfortable, thank you.
Good. [Borusa hands him his newspaper] I had nothing to do with this, I promise you. Chancellor, you know about the rod of Rassilon.
Yes.
And you know about the sash of Rassilon.
Yes.
And especially, you know about the great key.
Yes.
Therefore, it would be very bad for us if you were to fall into the hands of the Sontarans. No breeding, you see.
It's not just a question of breeding, surely?
Oh, but it is, it is, I assure you, chancellor, it is. They're a cloned species, you see. They can multiply at the rate of a million every four minutes. Shall we go?
I think so.
Good.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Doctor Who pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
