Doctor Who quotes

I just need to find the key.

Do you want me to do it with a pin? I'm good with a pin.

Multidimensional, triple-encoded temporal interface. Not really susceptible to pointy things.

[Unlocks the police box doors with a pin] Got it.

Okay. Suddenly the last nine hundred years of time travel seem a bit less secure.

Are you the new caretaker?

Usually called "The Doctor." Or "The Caretaker." Or "Get off this planet." Though, strictly speaking, that probably isn't a name.

Why are you doing all this?

I'm just... trying to take care of things. I'm the caretaker.

That's not what caretakers do.

Then why are they called caretakers?

[Pauses, caught, then:] Their father's dead.

[Pause] I'm sorry.

Lily and Cyril's father, my husband, is dead, and they don't know yet because if I tell them now, then Christmas will always be what took their father away from them and no one should have to live like that. Of course, when the Christmas period is over, I shall... [she pauses] I don't know why I keep shouting at them.

Because every time you see them happy, you remember how sad they're going to be... and it breaks your heart. Because what's the point in them being happy now if they're going to be sad later? The answer is, of course, because they are going to be sad later.

But why would you bring us to this place?

It was supposed to be a treat, this is one of the safest planets I know. There's never anything dangerous here.

There are sentences I should just keep away from.

What's happening?

No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it's a plan.

What do you know of the Dalek Asylum?

According to legend, you have a dumping ground. A planet where you lock up all the Daleks that go wrong. The battle-scarred, the insane. The ones even you can’t control. Which never made any sense to me.

Why not?

Because you'd just kill them!

It is offensive to us to extinguish such divine hatred.

Offensive?!?

Does it surprise you to know the Daleks have a concept of beauty?

[appalled] I thought you'd run out of ways to make me sick, but hello again. You think hatred is beautiful?

Perhaps that is why we have never been able to kill you.

The Asylum. It occupies the entire planet, right to the core.

How many Daleks are in there?

A count has not been made. Millions, certainly.

All still alive?

It has to be assumed. The asylum is fully automated. Supervision is not required.

Armed?

The Daleks are always armed.

What colour? [Everyone stares at him] Sorry, there weren't any good questions left.

Is there a word for total screaming genius that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy?

Doctor. You call me the Doctor.

I see what you did there.

Amy, it's me. Do you remember me? [She slaps him] She remembers me.

Same old Amy.

Do you know how you make someone into a Dalek? Subtract love, add anger. Doesn't she seem a bit too angry to you?

Well, somebody's never been to Scotland.

What about you, though, Oswin? Why are you okay? Why hasn't the nano-cloud converted you?

I mentioned the genius thing, yeah? Shielded in here.

Hmm, clever of you. Now this place, the Daleks said it was fully automated, but look at it — it's a wreck.

Well, I've had nearly a year to mess with them... and not a lot else to do.

A genius entertainment manager hiding out in a wrecked ship, hacking the security systems of the most advanced warrior race the Universe has ever seen — but, you know what really gets me about you, Oswin? The soufflés. Where do you get milk for the soufflés? Seriously, is no one else wondering about that?

No. Frankly, no! Twice.

Oswin? I think I'm close.

You are! Less than twenty feet away. Which is the good news.

Okay...and the bad, which I suddenly feel is coming?

You’re about to pass through intensive care.

What's so special about this lot, then?

Dunno. Survivors of particular wars. Spiridon. Kembel. Aridius. Vulcan. Exxilon. Ringing any bells?

All of them.

Yeah? How?

These are the Daleks who survived me.

Doctor... Doctor... Doctor...

That's weird. Those ones don't usually wake up for anything.

Yeah, well, special visitor.

Not possible.

Run.

Doctor!

[gleeful] I know. Dinosaurs! On a spaceship!!!

Are you saying that dinosaurs are flying a spaceship?

Brian, please, that would be ridiculous. They're probably just passengers. Did I mention missiles?

Missiles?!

Didn't want to worry you. Anyway, six hours is a lifetime. Not literally a lifetime. That's what we're trying to avoid! Ha ha!

The beach is humming!

Is it? Oh, yes! Right, well, don't just stand there, you two! Dig! I'm going to look at rocks. Love a rock.

Dig with what?

Ah! Well! [Removes a trowel from his pocket and starts digging]

Did you just have that on you?

Of course. What sort of a man doesn't carry a trowel? Put it on your Christmas list.

Dad, I'm 31. I don't have a Christmas list anymore.

[From afar] I do!

Look, Solomon. The missiles. See them shine? See how valuable they are? And they're all yours.

You wouldn't leave me, Doctor!

Enjoy your bounty.

We evacuate the town, our ship's just over the hills, room for everyone. I'll pop out, bring it back here, Robert's your uncle.

Really!? As simple as that? No crazy schemes? No negotiations?

I've matured. I'm twelve hundred years old now, plus I don't want to miss The Archers.

Oh, so you're not even a tiny bit curious?

Why would I be curious? It's a mysterious space cowboy assassin. Curious? Of course I'm not curious.

Can I borrow your horse, please? It's official Marshall business. [He mounts the preacher's horse]

He's called Joshua. It's from the Bible. It means "the deliverer".

No, he isn't.

What?

I speak horse. He's called Susan.

And he wants you to respect his life choices.