Romana I quotes from Doctor Who

What's that?

A policeman's truncheon. Last year when she went to lecture in New York, she took it with her in case she got mugged.

And did she get mugged?

No. She got arrested for carrying an offensive weapon.

You see before you a complete killing machine. As beautiful as you and as deadly as the plague. If only she were real, I'd marry her!

You deserve each other.

What's the matter?

Look! Radiation levels you wouldn't believe!

Good heavens! You could fry eggs in the street.

But that means...

What?

There must be a huge nuclear war going on down there!

None at all, no.

Well what else could it be?

I don't know. Probably someone throwing a huge breakfast party. Think po- Why do you always assume the worst?

Because it usually happens.

Empirical poppycock! Where's your joy in life? Where's your optimism?

It opted out.

Optimism: Belief that everything will work out well. Irrational, bordering on insane.

Oh, do shut up, K9. Listen, Romana, Whenever you go into a new situation, you must always believe the best until you find out exactly what the situation's all about. Then, believe the worst.

Ah, but what happens if it turns out not to be the worst after all?

Don't be ridiculous. It always is.

What have you done?

I don't know. K9, what have I done?

You have triggered primary alert function.

Blast!

Affirmative.

I think Merak needs some medical attention.

Yes. Look, Astra, why don't you and Merak go back to Atrios via the transmat? He'll show you the way.

I'd feel safer with you.

Well, I dare say, but we've got a few complicated things to do and Merak does need attention. I think the thing you should do is go back and show your people that you're free.

He's right, Astra.

Of course I'm right! Off you go, now. Hope to see you soon.

Well, here we are. We've tracked him to his lair.

Yes, we've got him exactly where he wants us.

Key to Time... I command... that you stay exactly where you are!

Doctor! You have fully activated all the TARDIS's defences.

We can't be too careful, can we? And it would be a terrible tragedy for the universe if it suddenly turned out that I was colour blind...

Doctor, release the key to me immediately!

...unable to distinguish between the White Guardian and the Black Guardian.

Doctor, what do you mean?

LOOK!

Don't you see? The White Guardian would never have had such a callous disregard for human life.

Of course! Astra, the sixth segment; he would have dispersed it immediately.

The Black Guardian

Doctor, you shall die for this!

I think not! Remember, the Key to Time is still mine. Rage all you like!

The Black Guardian

I shall destroy you for this! I will disperse every particle of your being to the furthest reaches of eternity!

Oh, well, I wish I could stay and watch you try, but you know how it is. Places to go, people to see, things to do.

So where are we going?

Going? I don't know.

You have absolutely no sense of responsibility whatsoever!

What?

You're capricious, arrogant, self-opinionated, irrational, and you don't even know where we're going!

Exactly!

I don't think we should interfere.

Interfere? Of course we should interfere! Always do what you're best at, that's what I say.

I've never met such idiots as those Customs men.

Idiots? They're worse than idiots, they're bureaucrats. They just exist to tangle people up, wrap them round and round in red tape until they can't move...

[impenetrably officious] Names, and dates of birth. Come on, come on...

Romana.

Romana who?

Would you please listen? Someone aboard this ship is smuggling drugs.

Name, and date of birth.

Well, how would I know? I don't even know who he is yet.

Your name and date of birth.

Oh! Oh well... I'm called the Doctor... Date of birth, difficult to remember, sometime quite soon, I think.

Romana, you've got two minutes, fifty-eight seconds to rebuild this machine!

What, this?

Yes!

The CET?

Yes!

Are you joking?

Do I look as if I'm joking? Well?

Well, I'll need a screwdriver...

Others follow.

Others?

Believe nothing they say. They're not Biroc's kind.

What are you?

A shadow of my past and of your future.