Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart quotes from Doctor Who

(after seeing the First Doctor on the screen) Who was that?

I'm afraid you wouldn't believe me if I told you!

Well, I never thought I'd fire in anger at a dratted caterpillar, but...

No, not a chance, Brigadier. Thick chitinous plates protecting the whole body surface. It's armour plated.

Waiting for this mysterious scientific advisor of yours to turn up?

That's right, sir.

[Sarcastically] I suppose he'll just materialize out of thin air.

Very probably.

Sarah Jane

Look, Brigadier, look! I think it's starting!

Well, here we go again.

[on phone] Get me the medical officer.

(semi-conscious) Typical Sontaran attitude...

[on phone] Lieutenant Sullivan?

(semi-conscious) Stop Linx...

[on phone] Emergency. Come to the lab at once, please.

(semi-conscious) Perverting the course of human history...

What's he talking about?

Sarah Jane

It's something that happened when we first met.

(sits up) I tell you, Brigadier, there's nothing to worry about! The brontosaurus is large and placid! (falls back)

Harry Sullivan

This the patient, sir?

And stupid! (sits back up) If the square on the hypotenuse equals the sum of the square on the other two sides, why is a mouse when it spins? Never did know the answer to that one. (falls back again)

[Entering room] Doctor, there's been another...Where is he?

Harry Sullivan

[Gestures to the TARDIS] In there.

He promised...

[Interrupting] Ah, Brigadier.

All right Doctor, we must get moving. [turns to face the Doctor]

[Dressed as a Viking] Is something wrong?

You've changed.

Oh no, not again! No!

I, I didn't mean your face. I meant your clothes.

Don't you like them?

UNIT is supposed to be a security organization.

Do you think I might attract attention?

It's just possible.

One moment. [heads back into the TARDIS to change]

I think your enemies are homegrown, Brigadier -- people with access to technological information, and a most unusual weapon. A weapon that walks and thinks. In a word: Anthropomorphic.

Well, I suppose that narrows the field a bit.

Believe me, Doctor, the place is impregnable!

Never cared much for the word 'impregnable.' Sounds a bit too much like 'unsinkable.'

Harry Sullivan

What's wrong with unsinkable?

'Nothing,' as the iceberg said to the Titanic!

Harry Sullivan

What?

[as he sinks back into the car] Glub glub glub....

When I left that psionic beam with you, Brigadier, I said that it was only to be used in an emergency!

This is an emergency!

Oil? An emergency? Ha! It's about time the people who run this planet of yours realised that to be dependent on a mineral slime just doesn't make sense.

Corporal?

Sir?

I'm still waiting for that liaison report. You're still in touch with the Coastguards?

Sir.

Right. I want a twenty four hour watch kept on every inch of this coastline.

Sir.

If the Doctor's right, if there is some sort of sea monster out there attacking the rigs, we've got to be ready for anything.

Sir.

It could decide to come inland.

Sir.

Can't you say anything else but sir?

Sorry, sir.

Who are they?

Fools, who tried to turn themselves into Time Lords.

You don't regret it, do you?

Giving up teaching?

Leaving United Nations Intelligence Taskforce.

No. My blood and thunder days are long past.

Sir, we do not the situation here.

The situation, Lavel, is normal. And it doesn't get any worse than that.

A warrior, no less! How goes the day?

I've had better.

I am Morgaine, the sun-killer. Dominator of the thirteen worlds and battle queen of the S'Rax. What say you?

I am Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart. Surrender now and we can avoid bloodshed.

Oh dear. Women. Not really my field.

Don't worry, Brigadier. People will be shooting at you soon.