Eleventh Doctor quotes from Doctor Who

[to Melody Pond] It's okay, she's still all yours. And really you should call her "Mummy", not "Big Milk Thing".

Okay, what are you doing?

I speak Baby.

No, you don't.

I speak everything. Don't I, Melody Pond? [Melody gurgles, the Doctor straightens his bow tie] No, it's not. It's cool.

[furious] Where the hell have you been? Every time you asked, I have been there! Where the hell were you today?!

I couldn't have prevented this.

And so, my love, could you. [looks toward Amy and Rory] I know you're not all right, but hold tight, Amy, because you're going to be.

You think I wanted this?! I didn't do this! This... this wasn't me!

This was exactly you. All this, all of it. You make them so afraid. When you began, all those years ago, sailing off to see the universe, did you ever think you'd become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name? "Doctor" - the word for "healer" and "wise man" throughout the universe. We get that word from you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word "doctor" means "mighty warrior". How far you've come. And now they've taken a child. The child of your best friends. And they're going to turn her into a weapon, just to bring you down. And all this, my love... in fear of you.

Rory, take Hitler and put him in the cupboard over there, now. Do it.

Right. I'm putting Hitler in the cupboard. Cupboard, Hitler. Hitler, cupboard. C'mon.

But I am the Führer!

Right. In you go! [Rory shoves Hitler into the cupboard]

[turns around, shocked] Who are you?! [Rory slams the doors shut]

What's wrong with you? What has she done to you?

Poisoned me, but I'm fine. Well, no. I'm dying. But I've got a plan.

What plan?

Not dying! See? Fine.

I don't understand! One minute she's gonna marry you and then she's gonna kill you?

Well, she's been brainwashed; it all makes sense to her. Plus... she's a woman! [Amy glares at him] Oh, shut up! I'm dying!

Doctor, River was brainwashed to kill you.

Well, she did. And then she used her remaining lives to bring me back. As first dates go, I’d say that was mixed signals.

He's scared to death of everything.

Pantophobia.

What?

Pantophobia. Not fear of pants, though, if that's what you're thinking. It's the fear of everything. Including pants, I suppose, in that case.

No one is going to tell us how to run our lives. I don't care who you are, or what wheels have been set in motion — we'll sort it.

I'm not just a professional. I'm the Doctor.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means I've come a long way to get here, Alex, a very long way. George sent a message — a distress call, if you like. Whatever's inside that cupboard is so terrible, so powerful, that it amplified the fears of an ordinary little boy across all the barriers of time and space.

Eh?

Through crimson stars and silent stars and tumbling nebulas like oceans set on fire, through empires of glass and civilizations of pure thought, and a whole, terrible, wonderful universe of impossibilities. You see these eyes? They're old eyes... and one thing I can tell you, Alex: monsters are real.

You're not from Social Services, are you?

First things first. You got any jammy dodgers?

Decision: Should we open the cupboard?

Wha-?

Should we? Well, gotta open the cupboard, haven't we? Of course we have. Come on, Alex. Alex, come on. How else will we ever find out what's going on here?

Right. But you said—

Monsters, yeah. Well that's what I do. Breakfast, dinner, and tea. Fight the monsters! So this, this is just an average day at the office for me.

Okay, yeah. You're right.

Or maybe we shouldn't open the cupboard.

Eh?

We have no idea what might be in there. How powerful, how evil that thing might be.

We don't?

Come on, Alex! Alex, come on! Are you crazy? We can't open the cupboard!

God no! No, we mustn't!

Right. That settles it.

Settles what?

We're gonna open the cupboard.

This is your fault.

I'm so sorry, but Rory--

No, this is your fault! You-- You should, you should look at a history book once in a while, see if there's an outbreak of plague or not!

That is not how I travel!

Then I do not want to travel with you!

Right, okay, this is big news. This is temporal earthquake time. I'm now officially changing my own future. Hold on to your spectacles. In my past I saw my future-self refuse to help you. I'm now changing that future and agreeing. Every Law of Time says that shouldn't be possible.

Yes, except sometimes, knowing your own future is what enables you to change it. Especially if you're bloody-minded, contradictory, and completely unpredictable.

So basically, if you're Amy, then.

Yes, if anyone can defeat pre-destiny, it's your wife.

No, she's not real...

She is real. Let her in.

Look, we take this Amy, we leave ours. There can only be one Amy in the TARDIS, which one do you want?! [He places Rory's hand on the lock.] It's your choice.

This isn't fair. You're turning me into you.

Every time the Doctor gets pally with someone, I have this overwhelming urge to notify their next-of-kin. [Rory flinches]

What?

Sorry. Last time I said something like that, you hit me with your shoe. And you literally had to sit down and unlace it first.

[to the Doctor] What exactly happened to him?

He died.

You are a medical doctor, aren't you? You haven't just got a degree in cheese-making or something?

No, no. Well, yes. Both, actually.

[standing over the dying Minotaur] What's it saying?

[speaking the Minotaur's thoughts aloud] "An ancient creature, drenched in the blood of the innocent... drifting in space through an endless shifting maze... for such a creature, death would be a gift." [to the Minotaur] Then accept it, and sleep well. [the Minotaur growls and the Doctor reiterates in English] "I wasn't talking about myself."

Don't tell me, this isn't Earth, that isn't a real house, and inside lives a goblin that feeds on indecision.

Nope. Real Earth, real house, [He hands keys to Amy] real door keys.

You're not serious.

The car, too, but that's my favourite car. How did you know that was my favourite car?

Showed me a picture of it once and said, "That's my favourite car!"

Rory, um, can I have two minutes? Two minutes.

She'll say that we can't accept it because it's too extravagant and we'll always feel a crippling sense of obligation. [looks back at the Jaguar and Amy] It's a risk I'm willing to take. [Rory approaches the house]

Hey. [Beckons the Doctor to lean against the car with her] So, you're leaving, aren't you?

You haven't seen the last of me. Bad Penny is my middle name. Seriously, the looks I get when I fill in a form, it's...

Why now?

Because you're still... breathing.

Well, I think this is about the washing up, personally. [They laugh]

[Approaching the TARDIS] I mean, you're right, there's still heaps of stuff out there to look at. Do you know, there's a planet whose name literally translates as "Volatile Circus". [Amy laughs and the Doctor looks at the new house] Or maybe there's a bigger, scarier adventure waiting for you in there.

Even so, it can't happen like this. After what we've been through, Doctor... everything. You can't just drop me off at my house and say goodbye like we shared a cab.

And what's the alternative? Me standing over your grave? Over your broken body? Over Rory's body?

If you bump into my daughter, tell her to visit her old mum sometime.

[Looking back at the house] And look after him.

Look after you. [She kisses his forehead]

What happened? What's he doing?

He's saving us.