A character in Doctor Who
Played by Arthur Newall
Doctor Who · 1,966 quotes
Most-quoted character in Doctor Who: in 329 of its 1,966 quotes
Most scenes with: Sarah Jane Smith (30), Leela (27), Romana I (21)
[The Doctor has pretended to be an insurance agent]
Yes, and I'd like to know just who you are.
Me?
Yes.
Well I told you, I'm from Galactic.
Galactic went out of business 20 years ago [in 2096].
I wondered why I hadn't been paid.
Well, that's not good enough.
That's what I thought!
[The Doctor and Tryst are discussing the CET machine]
And you invented this marvelous machine to collect your specimens? You know, I knew a man once who toyed with an idea like this. What was his name, a Professor... Professor Stein?
Professor Stein!
Yes.
[delighted] Oh! A dear friend! He was my mentor! We worked on this idea together before he died, of course. Then we stopped.
First a collision, then a dead navigator and now a... monster roaming about my ship. Well it's totally inexplicable!
Nothing's inexplicable.
Then explain it!
[awkward pause] ...It's inexplicable.
The vraxoin must be found.
Yes, bad stuff.
Bad stuff? It's the worst! I've seen whole planets ravaged by it while the merchants make fortunes.
Your people knew it would be on board, did they?
My people?
Well, you're an agent, aren't you?
No! I'm the Doctor; I keep telling you that.
Yes, but who do you work for?
W... Work for? I don't work for anybody. I'm just having fun.
Well, everybody works for somebody...
Oh! I'm so delighted that you're taking an interest in my CET machine.
I'm absolutely amazed.
Yes! Well, it is rather impressive, isn't it?
No, I mean I'm amazed at you, Tryst, using a machine like this when it's still so primitive. The whole thing's utterly unstable.
[stammering] ...Well, I value your opinion, Doctor...
Good, good, I value my life, and this machine makes me fear for it!
It does?
Yes!
Well, what do you think is so wrong?
Well, at a rough guess, I'd say the spatial integrator... transmutation oscillator... hologistic retention circuit, shall I go on?
Oh, yes...
Dimensional osmosis damper?
Ah... the what?
[shocked] You mean you haven't even got a dimensional osmosis damper!?
Ahh...
Professor, you don't realize how unstable this machine is!
[Customs agents Fisk and Costa are demanding identification from the Doctor and Romana]
[impenetrably officious] Names, and dates of birth. Come on, come on...
Romana.
Romana who?
Would you please listen? Someone aboard this ship is smuggling drugs.
Name, and date of birth.
Well, how would I know? I don't even know who he is yet.
Your name and date of birth.
Oh! Oh well... I'm called the Doctor... Date of birth, difficult to remember, sometime quite soon, I think.
Romana, you've got two minutes, fifty-eight seconds to rebuild this machine!
What, this?
Yes!
The CET?
Yes!
Are you joking?
Do I look as if I'm joking? Well?
[Romana sighs]
Well, I'll need a screwdriver...
Don't you think that's a bit dangerous?
No I don't. What could possibly go—
[The TARDIS jolts suddenly causing the Doctor to fall over]
—wrong. You know, I've simply got to stop saying that! Every single time I say "What could possibly go wrong" something goes—
[The TARDIS jolts again, knocking them both over]
It's uncanny! Isn't it?
Have you noticed how people's intellectual curiosity begins to decline the moment they start waving guns about?
Can you make it work?!
Yes. Oh yes, I can make it work. The question is, can we generate power soon enough to take the ship to escape velocity before we fall into a black hole with an event horizon.
What?
Shush. You just hold the gun steady. Don't tax your mind.
Here, take this you might need it. [passes Romana his sonic screwdriver]
No thank you. I've made my own.
Oh really? [takes Romana's sonic screwdriver] Really? You made this? Not bad, a bit basic though. Thank you! [passes Romana his sonic screwdriver] Now... [puts Romana's sonic screwdriver in his pocket]
Uh, Doctor? [Taps the doctor's shoulder with his sonic screwdriver]
Yes?
[Romana passes the Doctor his sonic screwdriver back]
[Slightly annoyed he was caught swapping the screwdrivers] Oh, ha ha, so sorry.
[A planet is hurtling towards the TARDIS]
Estimated time to impact?
Master?
How long have we got?
Estimated time to impact-
That's what I said!
89.4 seconds.
89.4 seconds? No dematerialisation, no defence shields and only half power on full drive. K-9, I think we're going to find out what it's like to be a cricket ball. [to the TARDIS] Well, it's been a great, great partnership old girl.
Master.
Oh K-9, This is no time for emotional quibbling you two. You've been a good dog to me, K-9. [hangs a "first prize" ribbon on K-9] The best I ever had!
Thank you Master. Time to impact now 58 seconds dead.
I wish you wouldn't say things like that, K-9.
Did you know that someone is building a black hole on your doorstep?
What?
Yes. I got stuck in it along with one of your spacecraft.
Later you will be questioned, tortured and killed.
Well I hope you get it in the right order.
K-9, is there a wall in front of us?
Negative, Master.
Then off you go then.
How did you get out?
Through a hole in the back.
But there isn't one
[Holds up sonic screwdriver.] There is now!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Doctor Who pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
