Dirty Sanchez quotes

(After Dan is sick a weird colour) "What the fuck have you been eating Joyce?"

(Taking the piss out of Pritch) "There's no rings on these fingers!"

"Day 5 in the Dainton house, and the baby's started to burn things."

(When being told to rub salt in a friction burn) "Fucking rub it in?! It's fucking MELTING in!"

(When being buried in snow) "I think I'm halucinating! I'm dying! I'm shutting down!"

(To Pritchard) "You've gone agro on your own issues, you're really fucked up ain't you!"

"Give me razor blades and safety pins any day!"

(Talking to himself) "Like skulls, death ripping through the groud, the devil's got horns.."

(While cutting someones hair) "The look I'm trying to achieve is...I haven't got a fucking clue."

"Big or small, fuck 'em all."

(Getting ready to snort up the contents of an ashtray) "And now... Johnny Cash - Snort some ash!"

(After finding out he is legally married to Pritchard) "I can't be married to fucking Freddie Boswell, I got a good woman back home!"

(Whilst getting a tattoo on his backside) "My arse has gone like a piece of wobbly jelly."

(About to get his arse waxed) "Right in the Gary Glitter!"

(After getting a D lock locked around his neck) "Right! Short man syndrome? Fuckin' right! I'm taking it to a fucking level this time! (Starts thumping the nearest door) AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!