Dirty Sanchez quotes

"This is a bloody bar, you arsehole! This isn't a house ... This is my bar!"

"It's true, I am the fool of the show!"

(After dislocating his little finger) "This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed home... this little piggy went to the pub, where I wish I'd gone to instead of the back of this van. This little piggy went to the club, with the lovely young mum...Single Mum...dirty mum... and this little piggy doesn't know what the fuck is going on!"

(Trying to smash a double glazed window pane with his head) "My head feels like a fucking gypo's arse!"

(Upon Pritchard confuses the word "Water Jungle" with "Rain Forest") "I thought I was thick!"

(After being hit between the legs with a shovel) "My fucking bell-end is on fucking fire!"

(After eating stinging nettles) "No more nettles for tea, boys. This organic stuff is shit!

(When Dainton asks if Pritchard's tattoo - "I Love Dainton" - on his penis is real) "Try rubbing it off, Daint!"

(After being woken up by being pelted with oranges and spray painted green with is clothes cut up to try and make him look like The Incredible Hulk) "Oh i'm green...great"

(Talking about a gig they did in Berlin) "I'd rather wank my old man off than turn up there again..."

"Forward roll, time for a stroll"

(Waking up drunk in a car after Dan had shaved his head) "Right, fuck the skate comp, fuck everything" (Dan:) "Skate comp? We're not at a skate comp!"

(Before drinking glass of vodka) "I'm about to say...Goodnight Irene"

(Whilst being hypnotised in Germany to rap every time he hears music) "Yeah. Lets go. Let's rock this mother fucking disco!"

(After being hit on the head with a brick) "Right on the fucking cranium!"