Stan and Philippa in “Minnellium”

Do you want to know about the traffic? Do you want to know your chances of getting into town this evening in time for HWD Components' once in a lifetime no expense speared Millennium dinner?

Please?

And you don't want it wrapped up? No softening the blow? No words of comfort? No light-hearted little humorous touches?

No.

Here it is, then: there's a riot in the middle of Manchester! There's three naked lads on the roof of The Midland Hotel! Somebody's ramraided the Disney Shop and they've closed the City Centre! They're letting no more cars into town! All the main roads are gridlocked! The Flyover's been coned off, and (approaches Tony) you, and (approaches Jean) you, and (approaches Dolly) you, and (approaches Bren) you, (approaches Philippa) and you are going nowhere!

Thank you.

Don't mention it!