They believe you're the man to deal with. Yankton.
I am.
It's just the magistrate looking to earn off that warrant. But no one else even knows it's out on you.
Maybe the magistrate needs to die.
Maybe he does.
S1Jewel's Boot Is Made For Walking
[On Stapleton being appointed Sheriff]
Bullock, it's a ceremonial position to give comfort to Tom Nuttall, who feels the camp's leavin' him behind. Putting a badge on Stapleton makes him feel he's got friends in high places.
That job shouldn't go to a shitheel.
Where as my feeling would be it should go to a shitheel, as it's shitheel's work.
I want to tell you somethin' about the law. Please, take a seat. Separate from all the bribes we put up, I paid 5000 dollars to avoid being the object of fireside ditties about a man that fled a murder warrant then worked very hard to get his camp annexed by the territory, only to have them serve the warrant of him and to face the six-foot drop. Into the magistrate's pocket the money goes, after which he sends a message. The 5,000'll need company if I'm to be off the hook. I give you the law.
It doesn't have to be like that.
Don't you think I don't understand. I mean, what can anyone of us ever really fuckin' hope for, huh? Except for a moment here and there with a person who doesn't want to rob, steal or murder us? At night, it may happen. Sun-up, one person against the fuckin' wall, the other may hop on the fuckin' bed trusting each other enough to tell half the fucking truth. Everybody needs that. Becomes precious to 'em. They don't want to see it fucked with.
I won't pay.
You pay… or she pays. No home visits. Do your visiting on the premises, five. [Sol slides five coins across the bar] Seven for an ass-fuck.
Cold enough world without gettin' gone against by your own.
Hey Doc, how long were you planning on taking before you told me what the fuck was wrong with Jewel?
Nothing, nothing she wasn't born with.
Mmm, I mean, she told me she was knocked up but I assumed that was her gimp sense of humor.
She wants me to brace her leg so her dragging it doesn't drive you crazy.
So what'd you tell her?
Not to worry about your moods, that you generate those yourself and then you find your excuse for having 'em.
Saucy words Doc, good thing you're handy with the snatch.
I had an idea for a boot, just now measured her for it.
If you treat her as successfully as you did the minister, she'll be kicking up her heels in no fucking time.
I will leave you now to pursue another excuse.
That man's not here to help his daughter, he's looking to root at her claim. You went to see that whore again?
I guess she had to account for her being outside, Swearengen sent for me to pay him his fee. I guess she told him where she'd been.
It might have been me he found out from, Sol, 'cause I'm sometimes that stupid.
You think it could have been you?
I'm sure it was, speaking without thinking, justifying being in his place.
Being you'd been ousted from your own.
I was hot seeing that tinhorn Stapleton getting installed as sheriff, and I used poor fucking judgment.
Sorry Mrs. Garret's pa turns out a shitheel.
Cold enough world without gettin' gone against by your own.
S1Sold Under Sin
This bloated tick, Claggett, feeding on the neck of the fucking military.
Walk in unannounced is a good way to get yourself killed, Doc.
OROtis Russell
[To E.B.] It must cost you sleep, the guests you drive off, the chances of thievin' and bilkin' you lose needing to rub against your betters.
I'll be the fucking sheriff.
Startin' when?
Startin' now.
Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh.
Cavalry in camp, Doc. May I number you in the reception committee?
Fuck the cavalry and the committee that receives 'em.
You and I are gonna talk.
OROtis Russell
You don't account for my preferences, Mr. Bullock?
I will beat you here in the street.
OROtis Russell
First-rate thinking. My daughter's agent beats her father in the street, how better to condemn Alma to deepened suspicion as to her role in her husband's violent death and widen suspicion to include yourself? Shoot craps, Mr. Bullock? Were you bullied, Mr. Bullock, when young and incapable? Now you see wrongs everywhere and bullying you feel called to remedy. The bully who oppressed your youth isn't at the table with us, perhaps he's long dead. If you will view the present with more clarity, perhaps you'd recognize that I'm not victimizing my daughter, but merely asking for a small portion of the ample proceeds from her veins. Alma is hurt only in your particular view of things. And while I'll sign no guarantee not to return, or against any future claim on her compassion, realize I do hate it here. And if you inhale and expel pure righteousness, my olfactories are keen to the smell of shit. Having heard all that and knowing, as you must, the injudiciousness of making an enemy of a man who could testify truthfully that, five minutes before her marriage, he heard his daughter wish her prospective husband dead, and who won't shrink from lying as to what she admitted to him on his arrival in this cesspool, as to her complicity in her husband's murder, I suppose you'd best take your swing.
[After beating Mr. Russell] All right. Leave this camp, and draw a map for anyone who wants to believe your fucking lies. Anyone wants to put your daughter or her holdings in jeopardy, you show 'em how to get here and you tell 'em I'll be waiting.
I don't care if the whole U.S. Cavalry walks in here, you don't want to pour another drink. You just want to listen to me 'cause if the man doesn't die whose face I just broke, he's gonna go to New York City and tell Brom Garret's people it breaks his heart to say so but his daughter had their son murdered. He'll tell 'em, knowing how he does, they won't want their son's rightful property in the hands of the woman who killed him. He'll swear to what he heard from her own lips. And those society people in New York City, who live with their heads up their asses anyway, will believe him. And whoever they send out here may take up to fifteen minutes before they decide that since you were involved in the transaction first to last. It must have been you and your boss she hired to push her idiot husband off the cliff. Of course, they'll be wrong about Mrs. Garret, but they'll be right as rain about you two cocksuckers. You tell him all that upstairs.
If he don't die.
If he don't die. I don't think I killed him.
Just so I understand you, if he don't die, you're saying the man's luck don't have to hold out. Now, that's the message you want me to take upstairs.
I don't swim in that shit.
You oughta pin that (sheriff's badge) on your chest. You're hypocrite enough to wear it.
You just tell him.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Deadwood pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.