Obi-Wan Kenobi quotes from Dead Ringers

I need your advice, kindly old Dumbledore.

No. What you need, Potter, are new glasses. I'm not Dumbledore, I'm Gandalf. The wise old wizard that guides a youthful hero on a journey of discovery.

Yes, that's right, Dumbledore.

Frodo, tell him that I'm Gandalf.

You're not Gandalf, Gandalf's here! [Points at Obi-Wan Kenobi ] The wise wizard that guides a young hero on a brave quest!

No, young acolyte, I'm not Gandalf. I'm the old master who schools a young hero in a mystic art.

Dumbledore!

I'm not bloody Dumbledore. I'm the one who sacrifices himself in the first part of the trilogy, then comes back from the dead to help the hero!

You've nicked that bit off me!

Harry, Dumbledore doesn't appear in this film because the actor who plays him is dead, but he will return played by somebody else.

Like me, they've nicked that bit too!

Look, it's my movie that's breaking all box office records, not your piss poor effort!

Oh, that's all we need. (!) The evil villain who dabbles in the Dark Side of the mystic realm.

Saruman!

No, that's [Vader] the villain who kills the father of the hero!

That's Lord Voldemort!

I'm not Voldemort! Anyway, that's just a story they tell the hero. The truth is I'm really his father.

You're my father?

I am. [Beat] Oh, bugger! That's really spoilt the ending of the fifth book, hasn't it?