It's weird, huh? This room used to be the official meeting place where we'd discuss what happened that day. And now it's just a film set, and I don't even know what happened this year.
Yeah. I was kind of hoping I could just climb up the ladder and... magically fill in all the lost time.
How's that working for you?
Maybe I was gone for too long.
Well, we'll piece it together between the two of us then, right? The lost year of Dawson and Joey.
Not talking to you. Maybe it seemed like it was. And I guess it just... became routine, just another thing that I didn't do. Well, like shooting heroin or driving drunk.
Wow, I'm up there with the dangerous activities.
Or casual sex. Dawson, for so long, you were the only person in the whole world I wanted to be with. Then somehow you became my only one-night stand.
I never meant for it to be like that.
I know. I know. Maybe being in this room makes it easier. Having it set up this way, you know, I'm so familiar, and... seems insane not to talk. And sometimes the hardest things to say are the things that... really matter.
Hmm. Why do you think I've spent years trying to write an entire screenplay about you?
I read it in one sitting.
Ok. I hope you don't think that I gave it to you so that you could just say all the obligatory nice things.
And why would I feel obligated?
Exactly, because if I can't get an honest opinion from the girl who loathes me more than anyone else in the world, who can I trust, right?
You've always been this devilishly clever.
Well... yeah. But... uh, I got--I got-- I wanted you to read it because... well, you're really the only person in the world who can tell me if I got it right this time.
You grew up, Dawson. You grew up. I always wanted to think that you were this hopeless dreamer and I was the adult that escaped. But I didn't escape anything, not really.
Sure you did. You got out of Capeside. Wasn't that the original plan?
Couldn't escape myself, could I? You were right. So much of what I was fighting was growing up. And I figured out this past year that it's hard for me... to talk about sex, to talk about... getting close with someone. And maybe... I'm not supposed to lose myself. Now it's not part of the plan. But then again, I never thought that losing you was part of the plan, either.
I think sometimes... you have to lose somebody completely before you can figure out what they really mean to you. I missed you, Jo.
You got it right this time, Dawson. I missed us.
You don't have to do this.
Sit out here with me. I know you'd rather be in the house with Dawson, so why don't you just go and help him lick his wounds?
Things never change here, do they?
No... because these are the roles we were destined to play.
No, Pace, these are the roles we chose to play. I mean, look at us, sitting out here on this dock in front of the same house we've been haunting for years. We're practically ghosts of our former selves, and honestly, I don't think anyone really remembers what they're mad about anymore.
Mm, I wouldn't be so sure about that.
Pacey, if I wanted to go back into that house, I would've gone a long time ago. Don't you know me at all by now?
Well, I don't want you sitting here feeling sorry for me.
I don't feel sorry for you. I feel for you, Pacey. God, can't you ever tell the difference?
I don't know. [Sighs] I don't know, because you and I have had a very confusing run of things. Especially lately.
Ok. You know, and no matter how much I love you or how long I stay with you, you're only gonna remember the moments when I leave.
Well, you gotta give me that much, because those are pretty much the most painful moments in my life.
That's because you ask for them, Pacey. I'm sorry. You do. Your whole life, you spend so much time expecting the worst that you don't even notice the moments when people are loving you, and, Pacey, people spend a lot of time loving you.
Well... with all due respect, Jo, my best friend just walked away from me, but that's not even the worst of it. The worst thing is he hasn't even really known me for the last 3 years, so please, clarify that for me. How does that qualify me as a man with a support network?
Well, you have a person sitting right here, don't you? But of course, that's not enough. Not until you let it.
In what world do I have you?
Look, just because I don't fit into that... place you want me to doesn't mean there's not a place for me, Pacey. Does it?
Joey, this isn't your fight, anyway.
You're right. You're right. It's not my fight because it's been over for a really long time, Pacey. And it is up to you to make it right.
I don't know how to make it right.
Well, you're gonna have to figure it out. You know, that's the thing about ghosts. They say that... they don't leave until they're at peace with what they left undone.
Hey. Jo, come in. I'm finally starting to understand these soap operas. They're pretty good.
All right, dirt merchant. Put some pants on. You're coming with.
Yeah. I don't think I'm going to be able to do that. The Young and the Restless is just about to come on. I gotta see how J.T. talks his way out of this one 'cause Colleen was about to kill him. I wouldn't miss that for all the pizza in Capeside. But, please, feel free. Pull up a seat. We got chips.
Well, yeah. Kind of comes with the territory. Now I'm not sure what you want me to do about it.
I want you to come with me. I want you to help me figure out how to get Dawson’s movie made on $10 and a dream.
I'd just end up ruining the whole thing, and Dawson knows that, I know that, and in your heart of hearts you know that. I'm a dangerous man, a lethal weapon, so we're all better off if I just lay here on my couch, watching my stories.
Cut, cut. Audrey, you're gonna have to take the robe off.
I thought we'd be in tight enough so we wouldn't see it, but it's right there.
This is, like, my dream day.
Ok, Dawson, what if I just show a little shoulder?
Problem is, I need bare skin.
You need, like, spaghetti straps.
She's right. You have to have something to match the wardrobe Audrey would be wearing if Pacey junior hadn't walked into her chest with a jelly doughnut.
We don't have an E.T.A. on that dress yet, do we?
Yes. Spin cycle. Your mom says it's gonna be about, uh, 20 minutes.
Uh, excuse me. Is there any scenario in which she could just take off all her clothes? You know, at least for one take? Because then, you know, I feel like I could really give you an appropriate on-camera react—
[Joey grabs him by the ear.]
Can I have 5 minutes alone with this guy?
You don't know how long I dreamed of hearing you say that.
[sits in the Director’s chair] Oh, my apologies, sir. Force of habit.
No, stay there. Stay there. You bailed my ass out today.
That's right, you little bugger. My bloody dogs are barkin'.
Makes you feel for the little people, doesn't it? Makes you wanna go back and apologize to every crew member you ever threw a hissy fit at, I bet.
Hell, no. Makes me wanna produce.
[voiceover] I used to be afraid of so many things...That I'd never grow up. That I'd be trapped in the same place for all eternity. That my dreams would forever be shy of my reach. It's true what they say. Time plays tricks on you. One day you're dreaming, the next your dream has become your reality. And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do. 'Cause there are things I wanna tell her-- to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey, and Dawson. These people who contributed to who I am, they are with me wherever I go, and as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is... it was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good? Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear this is exactly how it happened. But this is how it felt.
Looks like somebody's in quite the hurry this morning.
Sheriff Doug, hey, look, I'm sorry. I'm late and I'm trying to get to class.
Well, I have no choice but to issue you a citation for doing 40 in a 25.
Look, I already have all these points against my license. You think maybe there's something I could do to...get you to look the other way.
May I remind you, Mr. McPhee, that attempting to bribe a public official is a serious offense?
Uh, you know, I was just hoping that maybe, um... I could appeal to your greater sense of compassion?
[Doug leans in and kisses him]
All right. Just this once, I'll let you go with a warning.
No, no, never, never call me honey.
Dude, it's a deserted road. Chill.
Don't call me dude, either.
All right, tonight? Dinner later?
Yeah. I'll cook. My place.
Great. I'll bring the handcuffs. Kidding. I'll see you.
Yeah, I'll see you. Jack... slow down.
Mr. Hampton... is there a problem?
HHampton
Do I have to keep reading?
Well, the poem's not finished.
HHampton
No offense, Mr. McPhee, but this is a poem by a guy about another guy. It's, like, a gay poem.
I wasn't aware that poems had sexual orientation. See, this gay poem and others like it actually got Whitman fired from his job. See, he was an outcast most of his life. But he didn't care. He loved his country. He loved the freedom that it stood for, and he celebrated the American spirit every chance that he got. And here we are 150 years later, and we're still laughing at him. Your assignment for this weekend is to find a way to say, through the conventions of poetry, what you are afraid to say. I want you guys to write about something that you're scared of. We're gonna read these things out loud on Monday to each other, so I would hope that you give the same courtesy to each other that you did not give to Mr. Whitman today. Have a good weekend.
We’ve been through so much Dawson. So many good times and bad. When I loved you, you loved Jen. When you loved me, I needed to be on my own. So I left you for Jack. Then he realized he was gay.
And then I convinced you to turn your dad in for trafficking cocaine and...you said you’d never speak to me again.
But I did. I offered myself to you at that party, after you crashed your dad’s boat.
And I refused...for some reason. And so you fell for Pacey.
And years passed... until finally here we are... saying, "I do." The way it should be... the only way it can be for star-crossed, ill-fated soul mates. So, I do.
[Dawson wakes up]
What are you doing here? It's late. Doesn't this hospital have visitation hours?
I, uh... flirted with a nurse. I can be quite charming when I want to be.
What happens when she finds out you're gay?
Look, Jen... I would love nothing more than to engage in our patented, meaningless, good-humored Jack-Jen fag-hag banter, but... first I was kinda wondering, I mean, since you're lying here in this hospital bed and you're hooked up to all these machines... how come? How come you didn't tell me, 'cause I thought I was your best friend?
Because I didn't want you to be worried. I was already worrying enough. Because I thought that if I pretended it didn't exist, it would just go away. Because I like it. I like our... patented, meaningless fag-hag banter, and 'cause I was scared if I said it out loud, it would be true, because I was just-- I was just scared. 'Cause I was an idiot.
You are an idiot. I--I could've handled it. I could've helped you handle it.
Well, you will help me handle it. I need you.
[on videotape] Hi, Amy, it's mom. Well, by the time you see this, I won't be here anymore, and I know how much that sucks, for both of us. So seeing as how I won't be around to thoroughly annoy you, I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you. Well, there's the obvious. An education. Family. Friends. And a life that is full of the unexpected. Be sure to make mistakes. Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right? And, um, I want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream, and I insist that you, my girl, be a dreamer. God. I've never really believed in god. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists. But I hope that you are able to believe in god, because the thing that I've come to realize, sweetheart... is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for you to believe in something, because I promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always. And then there's love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you, I promise, and when you least expect it, like you, like spending the best year of my life with the sweetest and the smartest and the most beautiful baby girl in the world. You don't be afraid, sweetheart. And remember, to love means to live.
Well, you know that list of hardest things to live through? You just got bumped again. Ah. I'm so out of touch, Jo. I've... I've wasted so much time living in my little Hollywood bubble even now, my mind's on my work. I hate to admit that. Show's calling every 5 seconds. The network wants a script, which I haven't finished yet, because I don't know how. I don't have an ending. I can't even think straight enough to write one.
Dawson, this is a time of extreme stress.
It's not just that. When I saw Jen for the first time the other with Amy my first thought was, when did Jen have a baby? I forgot Jen had a baby. I forgot I knew that. What-- what's wrong with me?
You cannot feel guilty about that, Dawson. My office is calling every 5 seconds. It's--it's called life, and we just have to deal. Deal with—
With what, though? It's not Shakespeare. I'm not writing Schindler's List. I don't even know why I care so much. I'm no Spielberg. The guy won't even take a meeting with me. Would he?
She's dying. Jo, she's gonna die, and all I can think about is some frickin' ending to some stupid TV show. I keep thinking there's gonna be time for the rest of it, but it--it--it runs out.
Nothing in my life feels real anymore. I've lost touch with my family, my friends, you... and you and me together is the only thing that ever made sense to me, and I forgot that... until I saw you, and then it came back, what we were, and we're not even together.
Do you not watch The Creek? We're together every Wednesday at 8:00. Dawson, you wrote a show about us.
And that's the problem. I've turned my entire life into fiction. It's not even real life that I'm living anymore.
It is real, in the best way possible. Dawson, do you know how lucky you are? You're a writer. You get to live life twice. Who else can do that?
I mean, from the second that I stepped out of that cab and onto the Creek, I--I was the instigator, you know? The girl who caused problems and rocked the creek and upset the delicate emotional balance of Capeside, and--and I don't want Amy to be that person. I want her to belong. I feel like I never really did.
Jen you belong. You belong with me. Don't you get it? You're my soulmate. Amy's gonna know love. Every day of her life, she is gonna know how much her mother loved her. I'm gonna see to that.
