You know... what happened to Audrey tonight... it's happened to me before... more than once, and... to watch it... to watch her go through it was... just weird. Now you know what a mess I am.
I don't think you're a mess.
Well, then you haven't been paying very close attention tonight.
No. You know... Jen, you didn't do anything wrong tonight. And whatever mistakes you have in your past, they're over, and they've obviously made you a more empathetic and more compassionate person, and I don't think that's such a bad thing.
FProfessor Freeman
Not everybody's willing to spend their lives being part of a despised minority.
Yeah. [Laughs] Well... that's true. But maybe you should ask yourself who's doin' the despising. You know, it's one thing to be some scared teenager, afraid of his... his friends, his family, afraid of what everybody he meets might think and say about him. You know, I can forgive that. Hell, I can expect that. But you, you're an adult. Ok, somebody's married to you. You're... you're ruining lives here on a much larger scale.
FProfessor Freeman
You have no idea, do you, of how much the world has changed?
Look, if the world's changed, it's because people are willing to stand up and be honest about things, not hide behind things that are easier.
So, you're coming, right? I mean, if the band can overcome their complicated romantic entanglements and still be friends, the least that we can do is all get along for one night.
All right, I am willing to grant that there is a certain karmic appropriateness to seeing one's ex-boyfriend for the first time at a No Doubt concert.
Oh, come on, you know you want to. Empowered female. Incredible fashion sense.
I suppose mojo Jojo will be attending.
Oh, come on, if you can-- if you can be with her in that tiny little dorm room of yours, you're going to be just fine in a crowd of 14,000 strangers.
So she's bringing that guy, right?
Mm-hmm, but we don't have to sit next to them. We're using the gays as a barrier between the breeders and the bitter, single girls.
You're not going to regret this, I swear. You're here, you're not in a suit. This is good. This is very, very good. Where is everybody else?
They're at the concession stand. Jack and Emma, and, uh... the guy and the guy's friend.
Yeah, well, his name is David, which you might want to remember. I think he's going to stick.
What, you possess the psychic ability to see into the future of relationships now?
Hey. I did call you, you know.
I know. At least I figured that I shouldn't talk to you until I hated you a little less.
Oh, well... how's that going for you?
It's going, yeah. The problem is now I kind of hate myself, but, uh...
Audrey, can we go talk a walk? Maybe talk someplace that's a little quieter and slightly more private before all the madness starts?
[Chuckles] You really are an old man, aren't you?
So you really don't mind taking Audrey home?
DDavid
Well, sure, I mind, but, you know, my inner drama queen respects her refusal to come out of the bathroom till Jen and Pacey leave.
Heh heh heh! Thanks, man. I just don't want to ditch Jen, you know. I mean, I don't think this evening turned out quite the way she planned.
DDavid
Hmm. Yeah. I know the feeling.
So, we're, uh, not doing too well at this, are we?
DDavid
Well, the hanging out has been good. But the dating? I think it's safe to say that when two gay guys go on a date, and each ends up going home with a hot blond girl, something's definitely not working.
[Dawson and Natasha are kissing outside the police station as Todd comes storming out]
Ok, shag wits, to the car! Let's go! Chop, bloody chop! Or am I gonna have to throw cold water on you both?
For the record, never let it be said that Todd Carr is a man who's not in love with being in love. I think both my movies and my life reflect my deep and abiding commitment to getting two good-looking young people together and having a bit of fun now and again. However... as leery here bloody well knows...
You're also a man who's in love with sleep.
What's your problem, princess? I was sticking up for Joe Dirt over there.
Oh, this isn't going to end well.
Would you shut up, Pacey?
You're out of line, Audrey.
Of course I am. Anyone messes with the one that got away and you get all up on your high horse, don't you?
Oh, excellent, another party heard from. What's your problem, Lindley?
I think you're the one with the problem.
Oh! How devilishly clever of you, Jen. [Pause] Oh, honey, are you still upset that I shagged your dream boy, because I am sorry about that.
What are you even doing here?
I missed my flight, bitch! Which is really, terribly unfortunate, because if you think that spending Christmas on Walton Mountain is my idea of a good time, than you all are about as high as I am right now.
Audrey? Why don't you go lie down?
Oh, you know, thanks for that Gail, really, but I think I'm kinda just getting started here. Do any of you have have any idea how hypocritical this whole little gathering is? I mean, I'd be flying high on a pleasingly potent cocktail of vodka and painkillers and thank you, by the way, Gail, for the painkillers. But I seem to be seeing things a little clearer than-than any of you. Dawson. Pacey. You guys hate each other, don't you? You're never going to-to be able to mend this little rift that exists between the two of you, so-so why do you even bother with the charade? And Dawson and Joey. [Laughs] Here you are, both of you, all grown-up and so very pleased with yourselves and each with your little significant other by your side respectively and while I will give you that it does make for a pretty picture, the truth of the matter is that you guys finally slept together and you've never really dealt with it. And neither of you are going to be able to have a relationship with anyone else till you finally just deal with your crap once and for all. And...as for you, Pacey, I'm really sorry that Audrey Hepburn next to you broke your heart all those years ago and has prevented you from ever fully committing to an adult relationship...but you know what? Just grow up.
