Dan and Elise in “Elise's Parents”

I just want to go to the Renaissance Faire with my best friend, and your parents are getting in the way of that.

You think they're inconveniencing you? Ever since I was a kid, nothing I've ever done has been good enough. Straight A's, full scholarships, captain of every conceivable team the schools had, everything never enough. Why do you think I became a top operative in a shadowy, quasi governmental organization?

Wait, what was that?

What? Oh, never mind. The point is my parents will have a perfect week and for once not have anything to criticize me about.

You know you married Chris, right? Well, what am l supposed to do with this bag of common household rats?

Don't you even think about it.

Come on. I spent all day collecting these little guys.

Let's establish some ground rules. 1. You will not mess up my house in any way.

Fine.

2. You will not cause my parents bodily harm of any kind. 3. You will not set anything they own on fire.

Oh, come on!

4. If and when you engage them in conversation, you will be polite and pleasant. If you aren't, they'll need dental records to identify your body. You get me?

Joke's on you. I don't have dental records.

And take those rats somewhere else! [leaves]