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S6 E3

Curb Your Enthusiasm · Season 6, Episode 3

Larry and Funkhouser in “The Ida Funkhouser Roadside Memorial”

Hey! Funkhouser! My God, I can't believe it. You're out? What are you- what are you doing?

FFunkhouser

Well, uh... this helps my emotions. Jogging's the best thing for me.

So, mourners- mourners exercise? I didn't know that.

FFunkhouser

I don't know if mourners exercise. It's just good for me.

Interesting. I'm gonna remember that next time I lose a close member of my family.

FFunkhouser

Yeah. Jogging. Helps everything.

By the way, I called your house. I left a condolence message. I never got a return call.

FFunkhouser

Well, I had a few things on my mind.

Yeah, still...it's a little discourteous.

FFunkhouser

Let me explain something to you.

Sure.

FFunkhouser

I lost my dad a year ago. My mother just died. I'm an orphan, okay?

You're a what?

FFunkhouser

I'm an orphan.

Orphan?

FFunkhouser

Yeah, an orphan!

You're a little too old to be an orphan.

FFunkhouser

No, if you don't have parents you're an orphan.

You could be 70 and be an orphan?

FFunkhouser

You could be 100 and be an orphan!

You can't be 100 and be an orphan.

FFunkhouser

Yeah, you can!

Okay. Little Orphan Funkhouser.

FFunkhouser

Let me ask you something-

One of the things that bothers me a lot in life, is when ice cream drips down the side of a cone. Doesn't that bother you? That's why you have to be very vigilant when you're eating ice cream cones. Look, there's a little drip. Get it! Oh, another drip! Got it!

FFunkhouser

Are you coming to the funeral?

Of course I'm coming to the funeral.

FFunkhouser

Okay, I'm gonna give you the $50 I owe you for the golf bet.

Oh my God!

FFunkhouser

Hold this.

$50- I forgot all about it, the $50.

FFunkhouser

Yeah.

Great! What are you doing?

FFunkhouser

Taking off my shoe. I got money in the shoe.

What?!

FFunkhouser

There you go.

Ugh!

FFunkhouser

Take the $50!

No, I don't want it.

FFunkhouser

Take the $50!

I'd really rather not. I don't want that 50 from your sweaty...

FFunkhouser

Take the 50 bucks.

disgusting sock and sneaker.

FFunkhouser

This is the payoff.

That's- I don't want that 50. Give me a clean 50.

FFunkhouser

This is the 50 I have.

I'm not touching that 50. I don't want it.

FFunkhouser

Take the 50.

No!

FFunkhouser

Then I'm not paying you!

What?

FFunkhouser

I'm not paying you. This is the $50.

You owe me $50! What if-

FFunkhouser

This is $50! It's perfectly fine. See? $50.

All right, this is bullshit.

FFunkhouser

Take it.

Hold it out. Hold it out, fold it up. Fold it- that's it, okay. Put it in my pocket. Yeah, okay. Put it in there. Thank you.

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