Derek Morgan quotes from Criminal Minds

Gideon

I'd like to attach a protective detail for you Dr. Cooke, until we find the guy.

No, thank you.

Gideon

Excuse me?

Really now. Do I seem like the sort who would want to be followed around all day by a government goon squad? I don't think so.

Morgan

Goon squad?

Gideon

Ever talk to someone who wants to continually show you he's smarter than you?

Morgan

[motions to Reid] Every day.

Reid

I need to stop by a bookstore and get a copy of Empty Planet. I want to reread it before we talk to the author. I haven't read it since I was six.

Morgan

Six? I was still riding my Big Wheel at six years old.

Reid

Do you mind? It will only take 10 minutes.

Gideon

To buy it or read it?

Reid

Uh... both, actually.

Morgan

You trying to say something to me right now.

Gideon

Only if you're hiding something. You need to trust us. Trust us enough to tell us about it.

Morgan

Gideon, it's not about trust. It's about having a little privacy. I got the right to keep something to myself. Look at us, man. We practically live together already.

I pulled you out of the gutter.

Morgan

I pulled myself out of the gutter! All the way to the FBI! I DID THAT!

Are you saying I had nothing to do with making you who you are?

Morgan

No, Carl. Actually, I'm saying that you have everything to do with making me who I am. Because of you, I'm somebody who gets to spend the rest of this life making sure that guys like you go down.

Prentiss

[watching Morgan dance between two women] Hey, Morgan, be careful. The one in the back could take your wallet!

Morgan

That's all right. I'll be a broke, happy man!

Hotchner

All right, everybody, right now, what's my worst quality? [silence from team] Okay, I'll start. I have no sense of humor...

JJ

You're a bully.

Hotchner

I'm a bully.

Morgan

You can be a drill sergeant sometimes.

Prentiss

You don't trust women as much as men.

Hotchner

Okay, good. I'm all these things, but none of you said that I ever put myself above the team because I don't. Ever.

Don't you ever wish it didn't matter?

Morgan

It?

Color.

Morgan

Judge me by the content of my character.

Morgan

It's called empathy. And it's a good thing.

Reid

It's not. It's got me all messed up. I don't know how to focus, I can't do my job as well. So, what do I do?

Morgan

You use it. Let it make you a better profiler... a better person.

Reid

A better person.

Garcia

Are you lonely in the Lone Star State? And are you wearing chaps?

Morgan

Only in your dreams, Garcia.

Garcia

Oh, not necessarily. I have Photoshop.

Morgan

Hey, hey, behave. Focus your little twisted mind for me, okay? I need police records from the Fifth Ward. Small thefts and burglaries. Can you do that?

Garcia

Aren't you at that very station, right now?

Morgan

Yeah, but it's a small precinct and these guys are stretched. Trust me.

Garcia

Got it.

Morgan

Oh, and Garcia, see if you can find before and after pictures of demolitions in the area. Maybe we can nail down a building where the unsubmay have worked or lived in.

Garcia

How far back?

Morgan

A week. And Garcia? I'd better not ever find any Photoshop pictures of me.

Garcia

Oh, trust me, my vision, you will never find them.

Prentiss

How could their friends not see anything?

Morgan

It's like when the lion preys upon antelope.

Prentiss

You lost me.

Morgan

Well, that's because you, Emily Prentiss, have never been one of the antelope.

Prentiss

Oh, scratch that. You totally lost me.

Morgan

Okay, check this out. The antelope travel in packs; so the lion just sits and waits. Waits for just one of the antelope to break away from its herd. So when he's alone, vulnerable, and completely unprotected, that's when the lioness strikes, that's when she makes her move.

Prentiss

Wait a minute, her move?

Morgan

Prentiss, there's only one thing that's gonna make a straight man leave his friends on guys' night out, and it'll make him leave every time.

Morgan

Are you gonna tell me why you missed that flight to Galveston?

Reid

I already told you, there was no cell reception.

Morgan

Right.

Reid

What?

Morgan

Reid, any time you want to come up with a better answer, I'm standing right here.

Gideon

Natalya was a part of this.

Morgan

How did I not see this coming?

Reid

How could any of us, man? She sought us out. We were so blinded by the fact that she trusted us, we never considered not trusting her.

Hotchner

Broken nose, and bark's embedded in his face; looks like he ran into a tree.

Morgan

Now how do you miss a huge tree?

Hotchner

Too busy looking behind you.

Gideon

Most hunters put animals out of their misery. The men we're looking for - they don't show any mercy.

Morgan

These guys take pleasure in watching their casualties die a slow death.

Morgan

What was it the Yorkshire Ripper said about his victims?

Reid

The women I killed were filth. Bastard prostitutes that were littering the streets; I was just cleaning up the place a bit.

Morgan

[about the unsub] He's a house cleaner.

Reid

Mission-based killer who believes his murders are helping society.