Cory Baxter quotes from Cory in the House

Meena

Come in.

Cory

Come in? No, no, you're supposed to say, "Who's there?"

Meena

Well, why would I do that? I know it's you.

Cory

Oh, my goodness!

Newt

You're not gonna believe this, but I've got a date with a brilliant, beautiful girl who really likes me.

Cory

All right, man, that's awesome!

Newt

No! It's so not awesome!

Cory

Why?

Newt

Because! She's, like, the smartest girl in the universe! Maybe even in America!

Meena

Then why'd you say yes?

Newt

Because I got nervous and couldn't think of that other word, um...

Meena

"No?"

Newt

Exactly! This is a disaster! A fiasco! A quagmire of epic proportions!

Cory

But you couldn't think of "no?"

Cory

(horrified) There's only one person who can do that. (looks up and sees The Juicer)

(menacingly) Hello, weenie.

Meena

Cory, what is going on? You're acting like such a---a...

Cory

(dejectedly) Weenie?

Meena

Well, I was going to say "yak-butt."

Cory

Look, Newt...you're my best friend, right? I gotta tell you something. The truth is, yeah, your right, I didn't want Meena to win and, and kiss Nanoosh, because...well, I've had a giant crush on her ever since the first day I met her.

Newt

You mean all those times you used to gaze at her and melt when she talked to you and smell the air she walked by, you had a crush on her?

Cory

Raven? How fast can you get to Washington?

Is this fast enough?

Meena

Oh, look! A shooting star! (points up to the sky where a shooting star is passing over the trio) They say if you make a wish on a shooting star, it'll come true.

Cory

(looks up) I wish I was President. Then I could do things my way.

Stickler

Um, this would be a great time to use my C.I.A. official smoke shield! (pulls out smoke shield, throws it on the ground, and little smoke comes out) Uh, lets just pretend there was a lot of smoke.

Cory

Stickler!

Cory

Candy, you're not mad at me?

Candy

Seeing how much you cared for that little rat made me realize how sweet you are.

Cory

Well, uh, you know how I "yabba-dabba-do." (Candy growls playfully) Ooh, girl.

Candy

C-Bear, we have a problem.

Cory

Candy, I told you I'm not ready to meet your parents.