Jeff and Abed in “Home Economics”

How are you so satisified all the time, Abed? I mean, don't you ever want anything more out of life than cereal?

[thinking] Sometimes, I like to pour hot cocoa mix into cold milk, and drink it like a cold hot chocolate. I call it Special Drink.

And someday, you will know it by it's true name: diabetes.

You're Goldie Hawn, Jeff.

I'm sorry?

You're Goldie Hawn.

Is it the lips?

No. In Overboard, she was just like you. Wealthy, assertive, arrogant, got manicures all the time. But then she fell off her boat, and it was a good thing for her, because, ultimately, she realized she was happier being poor and raising four unruly boys with Kurt Russell.

Can I not be Kurt Russell in this scenario?

You can do whatever you want, you just have to know what that is. For me, it's Lucky Charms and TV.