Abed and Jeff in “Investigative Journalism”

Abed

Jeff, what's your favorite episode of M*A*S*H?

Jeff

The one with, uh... the army.

Abed

That's what I thought. If you'd ever actually seen the show, you'd know that Hawkeye didn't just bed nurses and drink martinis. He also had blood sprayed on his face and barked orders when the choppers came in. If he didn't, people died. He was a leader, Jeff. That's your job.