Since you joined Cobra Kai, I have been hard on you. I've called you names, I've humiliated you - some of you, I've hit. And for that, I don't apologize. Cobra Kai is about strength. If you can't be strong on the inside, you can't be strong on the outside. And right now - you're all weak. And I know that because I was you. I used to have no friends, I used to be the weird kid. Well, maybe not that weird, I still hooked up with babes 'n all but the point is - I wasn't always the badass Sensei that I am today. Just like a cobra, I had to shed my loser skin to find my true power. And you guys will too.
[Eli enters sporting a new mohawk. No one recognizes him]
EEli
I'm flippin' the script.
Wait, are you the kid with the lip? Nice cut, bro! You see that? It doesn't matter if you're a loser, or a nerd, or a freak. All that matters is that You... Become... Badass! "Hawk" - fall in.
[Eli/Hawk kicks off his shoes and falls in at the front of the class next to Aisha and Miguel. The other Cobra Kais stare in awe]
Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Aisha RobinsonNo, Sensei!
Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it?
Class! Are you ready to learn the 'Way of the Fist'?
MAMiguel, Aisha, Eli
Yes, Sensei!
[The students fall into position, with Miguel and Hawk in front]
Must've been a rager, sensei.
Yeah, were you celebrating all weekend?
Celebrating what? That my students are a bunch of pussies? Diaz, Hawk, up front!
[Miguel and Hawk step forward, facing the other students]
Hawk, did you attack your opponent when his back was turned?
Diaz, did you purposely attack your opponent's injury?
You think that makes you badass? [Hawk and Miguel look at Johnny, visibly confused] What's the matter? Too tough a question? Maybe you need some help. Miss Robinson!
Aisha Robinson
Yes, Sensei.
Two cobras in the jungle. One kills the strongest lion. The other kills a crippled monkey. Which cobra do you want to be?
Aisha Robinson
The one that kills the lion, sensei.
Aisha Robinson
Because it killed the stronger animal.
Correct! Cobra Kai is about being badass. And the baddest badass is the one that beats his opponent when he's at his strongest. [facing Hawk] Not when his back is turned! [Facing Miguel] Not when he's injured! Is that understood?
That means no more cheating. No more fighting dirty. From here on out, those are "pussy moves". And you don't want to be pussies, do you?
Good. That's why I had you wear your white belts. You're starting over. Diaz, Hawk, fifty push-ups, on your knuckles. Miss Robinson, warm them up.
Aisha Robinson
Yes, Sensei.
[Johnny has his students lined up in front of a cement mixer truck]
You think winning the All Valley gives you the right to goof off? Well, I got news for you. Winning one championship don't mean squat! A true champion never stops training. You gotta keep moving forward, or else you can get stuck exactly where you are. It's like the cement in this truck. If that drum doesn't start turning, the cement inside will harden and get stuck. Is that what you want to happen to you?
Good. Then climb up, get inside, and make it spin.
Aisha
Sensei, we're sorry for messing around.
[lowers the cement mixer's ladder]Get in!
Sensei, this seems kind of dangerous. I mean, the fumes alone-
Quiet! This man led you to the mountaintop and you question him? Look at you. Look at all of you. I can't believe this pathetic pack of pussies competed in the All Valley, and let alone won. It's an absolute miracle. And who's responsible for that miracle? Johnny Lawrence. The best student in the history of Cobra Kai. My student.
You were Sensei's sensei?
You better believe it, kid. And I tell you I've never trained a tougher student in my whole life. So if you know what's good for you, you better listen to every goddamn word he says.
[long pause before Miguel steps forward]
[Johnny Lawrence makes his own video ad for Cobra Kai]
There's a lot of talk going around the Valley about free karate. But everyone knows that in life, you get what you pay for. You wanna really kick the competition? [Johnny kicks a bonsai tree into pieces] Then you need to get your ass over to Cobra Kai. Screw that lame meditation bullshit. What you need is bone-crunching, face-smashing, good ol' American karate. [Johnny punches and elbows a body opponent bag] Enough about self-defense. Learn self-offense. Don't be a pussy. Join Cobra Kai, and let me teach you [clenches fist] the Way of the Fist.
Aisha
And cut.
All right, did we get it?
Aisha
I think so.
All right, great. Just make sure the Cobra Kai snake comes in at the end, all right? I want it to really pop. Make it chrome. And throw "Thunderstruck" under it.
Aisha
I'm pretty sure the rights for that song will cost too much.
No, I already own it. Cassette's in the car. Oh, and put one of those hash browns at the end. You know, like, "Hash brown. Team Cobra Kai," or something. And then send it to the Internet!
Cobra Kai · 95 quotes
