[In a video conferencing call] Ab, Ab, Ab-- No joke, today is the day we become Abbi and Ilana, the boss b*tches we are in our minds. Are you with me?
Yeah, I'm with you, awesome. Are you-- Is that the whole thing?
Obviously I have a plan. Tonight we are going to see a secret pop-up Lil Wayne concert at Bowery Ballroom.
I can't, I'm so broke.
No excuses, girl. I'm getting big ol' balls of mozzarella today. Chea-- Get it! Chea-- Harder.
You're gonna have to speak in English for me.
I am getting my paycheck today and I can spot you, bitch!
I wish that I could, but I am so close to finishing season one of "Damages," and I made, this, like, amazing cashew stir-fry for the week, so I'm actually pretty booked.
Stir-fry? Can I talk to the Abbi who stole a van? Ab, you're so stuck in your little routine. I bet you schedule when you jack off.
Schedule when I ja-- [exhales deeply] Oh, my God. Is that Lincoln?
Yep. [Turns camera onto him who she is riding on top]
Is he inside of you?
Yep. I'm just keeping him warm.
All right-- Let's just set some ground rules here for everybody involved. I don't want to see you have sex. Let's try and avoid that.
Lincoln, you seem well.
Thank you-- I've been doing this no-bread diet and it's pretty good.
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