Brandy Harrington quotes from Brandy & Mr. Whiskers

Brandy

I'm sorry Ed, forgive and forget?

Ed

Well, Miss Brandy, one nice thing about having slick fur is that offenses like that just slide right off.

Brandy

Maybe there's something else we have in common. What's your favorite group?

Mr. Whiskers

Oh! The vegetable group and the focus group. I also like grouper fish.

But we don't like you!

Brandy

I meant, musical group.[Mr. Whiskers drools.] *##$&, it would be nice to have a conversation with someone who actually knows what I'm talking about.

Mr. Whiskers

Are you kidding me? We have tons in common! We both have fur, tails, two eyes, and we're both self-centered and materialistic. Wait, no — that's just you.

Tiffany

I can't believe I'm lost in this fog-infested mudhole!

Mr. Whiskers

Well, get used to it, sister!

Tiffany

There's intelligent life here! [Jungle animals pop out and laugh.]

Mr. Whiskers

Hey!

Tiffany

I'm Tiffany, Tiffany Turlington of the Texas Turlingtons, and I need to get out of here, @#, pronto!

Mr. Whiskers

Well, that sounds familiar, doesn't it? Don't go anywhere!

Tiffany

#@ I have an option?

Whiskers

Wow, I thought my spring-loaded underwear was cool. (thrown offscreen)

Ηττημένος.

Tiffany

When they come to get me, we'll take you home, too.

Brandy

That'd be * awesome.

Tiffany

Sweet!

Brandy

#%$@$ sweet!

Mr. Whiskers

He's Here!

Brandy

Whiskers, I didn't want to have to say this. There Is no Easter bunny!

Mr. Whiskers

[sneezes in shock; calmly] Brandy, I understand that you're angry, but you shouldn't use hurting words.

Brandy

Think about it, Whiskers. A giant mutant bunny from another planet that hops around the world hiding candy eggs, but nobody sees him.

Mr. Whiskers

Oh, well, I can see how that sounds, perhaps it had silly and scientifically unsound, but that is because I forgot to explain how carrots make him invisible!

Brandy

He's invisible because He Dosen't Exist!

Mr. Whiskers

Oh.

Brandy

[with her pillow over her head, covering her ears] Whiskers, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. [Mr. Whiskers sobs more emotionally] Hey, you know what? Your hours of hysterical sneezing have convinced me, I like, totally believe in the Easter Bunny!

Mr. Whiskers

[sneezing] No, you don't! And thanks to you, I Don't Believe in Him Either!

Brandy

[after trying relentlessly to return the shoes] I'm sorry, you were right. I should have just saved up the six hundred and ten shiny rocks.

Mr. Whiskers

[exasperated] For one pair of shoes?

Brandy

That's what I said! Forgive me?

Mr. Whiskers

Sure I do. Now lets get these things back to the store!

Mr. Whiskers

So, you weren't kidnapped by fireflies?

Brandy

No, Whiskers, I wasn't.

Mr. Whiskers

Wow, embarrassing.

Brandy

You think? You only humiliated me in front of every girl in the Amazon and Gaspar, not to mention my all-time favorite band in the world, Sugar Toad!

Mr. Whiskers

Actually, I must talk to you about why you lied to me and everyone knows it blew up right in your face.

Brandy

Oh, yeah, that. That wasn't my better favorite moment, either. I'm sorry I lied to you, Whiskers.

Mr. Whiskers

Well, at least we need to see some fireflies and Sugar Toad for a few minutes they were running away from us.

Brandy

Yeah. I seem to have no idea that fireflies seem to feel beautiful.

Mr. Whiskers

Yeah, or so unforgiving... [to his troop as they are chased around] just keep running, guys! See, this thing that must've gotten in the other book.

Brandy

Fine. Fifty, seventy.

Mr. Whiskers

Sounds fair and... HEY, WAIT A COTTON-POLYESTER BEGGIN' MINUTE!! [sarcastic] Fifty and seventy do not add up to hundred, that adds up to... What's come up to that?!

Brandy

Okay, ninety for me, time for you.

Mr. Whiskers

A hundred, that is better. [Brandy handles him a pile of money]

Brandy

[whisperly cackles] Just keep laughing, it'll be days before he notices.

Mr. Whiskers

[mistakes Brandy about another money] HEY, WAIT A COTTON-POLYESTER BEGGIN' MINUTE! YOU TOOK THE LION SHARE! AND NOW, WE'RE MAD!

Brandy

WE?

Leo always gets a cut.