Bones · Season 2
I got something for you.
A bottle of hard liquor?
Next best thing. (takes a small pig figurine out of his pocket, puts it in the palm of his hand, and moves very close to Brennan) Meet Jasper. (both smiling, Brennan takes Jasper from Booth's hand and looks at it) You're gonna be okay?
Yeah.
Definitely.
What's that?
Religious medal. Sarah had it in her possession.
Saint Agnes. Patron saint of young women especially those who remain pure.
How do you know all that?
I'm Catholic, Bones.
"S.A.H.S."
Yeah, St. Agnes High School. Except I think Sarah Koskoff went to public school. [pauses] Oh, God.
What? What does that mean?
[with dread] It means I have to go talk to a nun.
And if you're not helpless, then why did you sleep with her?
Oh, I really don't recall saying that I did!
Well, you didn't have to. I could hear it in your voice. I might as well have walked in on you having sex.
Oh, you didn't, and we weren't.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, Booth. Humans act upon a hierarchy of needs, and sex is very highly ranked. It's an anthropological inevitability.
Thank you, Bones. I really appreciate you boiling me down to your anthropological inevitabilities.
Sure. Any time.
Maybe he dissolved himself so there'd be more of him to go around... I'm going to hell, aren't I?
I'll save you a seat.
I'm going on police business.
So proud. [to Cam] Wait, does he mean out? In the world?
We'll pin our phone number on his shirt.
What you thought were teeth marks, Dr. Saroyan, turned out to be Chinese characters engraved along the side.
What do they say?
They say, "What make foolish man think I speak Chinese?"
I thought you were half Chinese!
And I think you're half Swedish. Let's hear some Swedish!
Are you sure this is the best time to tell them?
After two days of nagging me, it's just now you're getting cold feet?
I don't nag.
[dismisses Brennan] Oh, well, you know, it's an anthropological inevitability for women to gossip and nag.
Man, what I would've given to be a fly on the wall when you told those wives.
You would've been swatted, trust me.
[to Booth] You seem uncomfortable. Does his size make you self-conscious?
Bones.
It's a condition: skeletal dysplasia. Pseudoachondroplasia or S.E.D. congenita?
Bones!
What?
Dr. Brennan, I can see that you're a straightforward person. And as much as I appreciate that quality, what you're asking me is neither your business nor relevant.
But it is my business because I'm a forensic anthropologist. But you're right, it's not relevant.
So maybe the bomber got caught by his own explosion.
Her own explosion.
Wait -- the bomber was a female?
Sciatic arch. Doesn't lie.
Neither does the vagina.
Oh, I could kiss you.
That would require permission, which I deny.
I'll go tell Booth that the bomber is alive and six feet tall.
[As Hodgins runs out of the office] You'll tell who what? There's a loop, people, and I'm in it! [to Angela] Not only am I in it, but I'm the big, curvy part.
Come on Alex, baby steps. [realises his mistake] No offence.
[laughs] I just got that. It's baby steps because you're so small. It's probably offensive.
Sorry, I can't help you.
Sorry.
We cheat diplomatic immunity here in DC, we catch a murderer. That's great. They do it in Upper Kamikazestan and our boys end up on a red-hot spit over a slow fire.
There's no such place as Kamikazestan.
Shouldn't we do something?
You kidding? Hodgins being abducted by men in black? It's a dream come true.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
