[We cut to room in the castle]
[standing by the fire, reading a note] Splendid! Splendid!
[Edmund enters the adjacent hallway]
[to sheep] Now look, you're not supposed to be here. That's far enough, now get out! [shuts door, and begins to walk down the hallway, shivering] If I could get my hands on that bastard brother, Harry...
Ah, Edmund! [Edmund stops dead in his tracks in surprise, then continues walking, as though not hearing, behind a bit of a wall] Edmund? [Edmund reappears, in the next doorway] Ah, there you are. Splendid news, Edmund. Father's coming home! He writes here that he'll be back by St. Leonard's Day. Excellent! So we can celebrate both events together! Now then, I shall handle the visiting royalty, of course, er, the guards of honor, and the papal legate; and you can, er, you can sort out the frolics.
[to his dismay] The frolics?
Yes, the Morris Dancers, the eunuchs, and the bearded women, you know: the traditional St. Leonard's Day entertainments. Oh damnation, though, I don't think I'm going to have enough time to attend to the drains. Edmund, you'll have to look into those as well.
[shivering from the cold] Oh, er, yes, fine, fine. I'd, I'd be honored.
Good. You won't let me down, now, will you?
No, no, no, no. I'm, I'm really looking forward to it already. Thank you so very much.
Splendid! [leaves]
Twelve months of chasing sheep and straightening the royal portraits, and now this. The bastard. The bastard!
[appears next to Edmund] If only he were, my lord.
What?
If only he were a bastard, my lord. Then you would be regent now.
Ah, yes. And one day...
[appears next to Edmund and Baldrick] You would be king, my lord.
Ah, yes, yes. I would be king! And then what?
You'd rule the world, my lord!
Precisely! It's just not fair, you know. Every other damn woman in the court has bastards, but not my mother, oh no. She's so damn pure, she hate to look down in case she notices her own breasts.
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